Matador and The Lust of His Life
Me and The Matador
The picture says it all
She loves to cook and give out fake phone numbers
Saturday, October 27, 2007
In the meantime...
I am studying way too little way too late but I am studying. I Take my recertification exam on Tues. and just started studying yesterday so I have no real time to post here so you will get photos instead.
Matador and The Lust of His Life
Me and The Matador
The picture says it all
She loves to cook and give out fake phone numbers
Matador and The Lust of His Life
Me and The Matador
The picture says it all
She loves to cook and give out fake phone numbers
Friday, October 26, 2007
At least I found it funny
I tend to occasionally put complete dreck on my blog for no other reason than it amuses me at the time.
It is 2:30 in the morning and I am not drunk or in a state of post-coital bliss. I am however in the middle of a self imposed How I Met Your Mother marathon. Season 2 of course. Season 1 is still in the clutches of Brother, who apparently loves to flirt with death. To his credit though i don't believe he is intentionally hording it, I believe instead that a smaller version of the family black hole has set up residence in his apartment and sucked in my DVDs.
Does your family have a black hole. I have met one other friend who understands the black hole phenomenon. You have something and you know where it is, at least you think you do until you go to retrieve it and it is nowhere to be found. I swear it was right there! And you look for it and look for it and it seems to have vanished until one day, possibly one much later in time when you are not looking for it, possibly even have forgotten about it completely.....poof, there it is. In a place you swore you looked in. Twice.
My parent's house is the site of the largest black hole known to man. I am conviced people have been lost in there.
It is so large that is has spawned a second smaller black hole. The present black hole. My mom has perfected the art of hiding things IN A SAFE PLACE. We tell my mom never to hide something in a safe place because it will never be seen again. For at least the past 3-4 years my mom has lost at least one Christmas present for someone in the family. She tears her house apart and cannot find it and she apologizes profusely and lets it worry her all through Christmas eve to the point where she will get up intermittently during the evening to look for it because she believes she has figured out where she put it. She is wrong. The black hole has it. The funniest thing about this Christmas ritual is that the black has started spitting out the said Christmas present just prior to the intended recipient's birthday. And my mom finds this present usually while looking for the birthday present she has put IN A SAFE PLACE. The birthday present then disappears into the black hole being spit out again just before Christmas. At least the black hole has a sense of balance.
I however am quite off balance. I have a new addiction. Actually it is an addiction that has been building for a few years now, but has reached a fever pitch. TV on DVD. I blame brother. He gave me my first taste. Free of course. That's how they hook you. He lent me Season 1 of 24 on Christmas about 3 or 4 years ago and now I have purchased seasons for 3 separate shows in just the past week and a half. And I will probably go on-line and purchase Season 2 of Weeds as soon as I finish writing this. And I saw Seasons 1 and 2 of Arrested Development for $20 each at larget last week. I have never seen the show but have heard good things. And $20 per season. HOw can you beat that. Although it kind of pisses me off that Cable shows only have 10-12 episodes per season and you pay about the same price as you would for 22-24 episodes of a regular TV show. I don't mind spending money just stop ripping me off.
Bastards.
Okay it is 3am and this bastard is going to bed. If of course I can get into bed without being pulled in by the TV's gravitational pull.
It is 2:30 in the morning and I am not drunk or in a state of post-coital bliss. I am however in the middle of a self imposed How I Met Your Mother marathon. Season 2 of course. Season 1 is still in the clutches of Brother, who apparently loves to flirt with death. To his credit though i don't believe he is intentionally hording it, I believe instead that a smaller version of the family black hole has set up residence in his apartment and sucked in my DVDs.
Does your family have a black hole. I have met one other friend who understands the black hole phenomenon. You have something and you know where it is, at least you think you do until you go to retrieve it and it is nowhere to be found. I swear it was right there! And you look for it and look for it and it seems to have vanished until one day, possibly one much later in time when you are not looking for it, possibly even have forgotten about it completely.....poof, there it is. In a place you swore you looked in. Twice.
My parent's house is the site of the largest black hole known to man. I am conviced people have been lost in there.
It is so large that is has spawned a second smaller black hole. The present black hole. My mom has perfected the art of hiding things IN A SAFE PLACE. We tell my mom never to hide something in a safe place because it will never be seen again. For at least the past 3-4 years my mom has lost at least one Christmas present for someone in the family. She tears her house apart and cannot find it and she apologizes profusely and lets it worry her all through Christmas eve to the point where she will get up intermittently during the evening to look for it because she believes she has figured out where she put it. She is wrong. The black hole has it. The funniest thing about this Christmas ritual is that the black has started spitting out the said Christmas present just prior to the intended recipient's birthday. And my mom finds this present usually while looking for the birthday present she has put IN A SAFE PLACE. The birthday present then disappears into the black hole being spit out again just before Christmas. At least the black hole has a sense of balance.
I however am quite off balance. I have a new addiction. Actually it is an addiction that has been building for a few years now, but has reached a fever pitch. TV on DVD. I blame brother. He gave me my first taste. Free of course. That's how they hook you. He lent me Season 1 of 24 on Christmas about 3 or 4 years ago and now I have purchased seasons for 3 separate shows in just the past week and a half. And I will probably go on-line and purchase Season 2 of Weeds as soon as I finish writing this. And I saw Seasons 1 and 2 of Arrested Development for $20 each at larget last week. I have never seen the show but have heard good things. And $20 per season. HOw can you beat that. Although it kind of pisses me off that Cable shows only have 10-12 episodes per season and you pay about the same price as you would for 22-24 episodes of a regular TV show. I don't mind spending money just stop ripping me off.
Bastards.
Okay it is 3am and this bastard is going to bed. If of course I can get into bed without being pulled in by the TV's gravitational pull.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Good Dave Bad Dave
I just found this in my files titled, you guessed it Good Dave Bad Dave
It is a IM convo between me and my beloved Whatsername. I wish she would post more. This cracked me up. I know it is dreck but if you read far enough it is funny as shit.
It occurred approximately January of 2006
David says:
morning
$@R@|-| says:
sup hookah
David says:
on the phone with red
$@R@|-| says:
sex-cellente
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
lol
David says:
lol
$@R@|-| says:
brb makin de bed
David says:
otay
$@R@|-| says:
otay back
You have just sent a Nudge!
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE DAVE DAVE
David says:
2 minutes
$@R@|-| says:
I get to watch a show called TittyBangBang
David says:
sweet
$@R@|-| says:
it's not pr0n though
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
i think you can watch this show online ill see if i can find it and send you the link
David says:
otay
David says:
not porn whats up with that
$@R@|-| says:
its comedy!
David says:
did I send you the link for "The internet is for porn" or did you send it to me
$@R@|-| says:
you sent it to me
$@R@|-| says:
i dont forward stuff
David says:
it is characters from a fantasy game singing
David says:
I cant remember where I found it but it is hilarious
David says:
tony has a hot pic of Raymi up
David says:
your favorite goddess of the interweb
$@R@|-| says:
its up on three sites. old news yo
$@R@|-| says:
fil had it up then she posted it then tony did
David says:
otay thebn
$@R@|-| says:
heehee
$@R@|-| says:
ive seen her boobs almost as many times as ive seen mine
David says:
I have been looking at raymi because of the party they had, but normally I read her once a week
$@R@|-| says:
*nodnod*
David says:
you dont look at your boobs daily?
$@R@|-| says:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/broadband/mediawrapper/consoles/threeplayer/bb_rm_console.shtml?nbram=1&bbram=1
David says:
And I rarely if ever read fil
$@R@|-| says:
i look many times a day
David says:
YAY!
David says:
I love your pic
David says:
you're a retard but I love you
David says:
I need to attach that to all my emails
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
you should!
David says:
I may
David says:
can I make a pic my signature
David says:
?
$@R@|-| says:
im not sure
$@R@|-| says:
that lin kis the show. watch it
David says:
Where did you get that, it won't let me right click and save
David says:
and titty bangbang wont load
$@R@|-| says:
sec
$@R@|-| says:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/tv/tittybangbang/
$@R@|-| says:
see the blue box on the right a little way down?
$@R@|-| says:
the link is there
David says:
It went there but the video wouldn't load I will try this new link
David says:
I just turned down a shift at work
David says:
fuck and I need the money
$@R@|-| says:
you prolly need realplayer
$@R@|-| says:
why!?
David says:
but I am going to a free dinner at a great steak house
David says:
and I have plans with smiley after
David says:
and I haven't seen smiley in two weeks
David says:
I didn't get her a xmas present so I should at least keep my date
David says:
fuck
David says:
I need the mones
David says:
y
David says:
damn
David says:
should I cancel and take the shift
David says:
where di you go
$@R@|-| says:
im here im thinking about your dilemma
David says:
otay think
$@R@|-| says:
well
$@R@|-| says:
i dunno =/ how long till youd have to work?
David says:
9p
David says:
dinner is 6-8:30 so I would have to leave early
David says:
and I was supposed to meet smiley at 9
$@R@|-| says:
might be good to take the shift and plan something really good for smiley later
David says:
If I had seen her this week I wouldnt feel as bad but I havent seen her since Dec 26
$@R@|-| says:
true =/
$@R@|-| says:
i dont know what i would do, probably take the shift so i could afford to treat smiley
$@R@|-| says:
not that you cant but you know what i mean
David says:
I will be able to see her on the weekend but I hate to cancel plans
$@R@|-| says:
i totally understand
David says:
I will be spending borrowed money tonight
David says:
I should take the shift
David says:
half the fun of going to these dinners is the free drinks
David says:
although I hate drinkijng in front of dad
$@R@|-| says:
take the shift dave
David says:
fuck
David says:
i don't wanna
$@R@|-| says:
she will understand!
David says:
maybe
$@R@|-| says:
she will
David says:
I was in a good mood a few minutes ago
$@R@|-| says:
aaw
$@R@|-| says:
youll still get a sweet ass dinner before!
David says:
but I will have to leave early
David says:
and take my car
David says:
which means $10-$20 for parking
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
=(
$@R@|-| says:
i dunno what to tell ya
David says:
I am I an idiot if I dont' take the shift
David says:
fuck I know I should take it
David says:
I am going to take a shower
$@R@|-| says:
ok have a think about it
David says:
have a drink about it
David says:
that
David says:
s a great idea
$@R@|-| says:
not f youre gonna go to work!
$@R@|-| says:
dave!
David says:
hehe
$@R@|-| says:
you sew people!
David says:
it's settled then
David says:
pass my drink
David says:
sewing is easy
David says:
remembering to order the right drugs or tests maybe not so much
$@R@|-| says:
bad dave!
David says:
bad dave is sooo good
$@R@|-| says:
rawr
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
you like bad dave
David says:
David says:
a lot
David says:
bad dave to the rescue
David says:
bad dave has no guilt
$@R@|-| says:
i think youre gonna be drinking to night hehe
David says:
fuck I gotta buy condoms
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
and change the damn sheets
$@R@|-| says:
>.<
David says:
I like smiley
$@R@|-| says:
=)
David says:
sometimes I feel bad that I am seeing these other girls
David says:
it's a good thing only bad dave goes out with them
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
/faceplam
$@R@|-| says:
FACE PALM DAMMIT >.<
David says:
good dave stays at home and reads the bible
David says:
/facepalm
$@R@|-| says:
damn you need to take good dave out
David says:
what is that
David says:
good dave would go to work
$@R@|-| says:
its when someone says stuff like you and you bury your face in your hand
$@R@|-| says:
make the gesture youll know what im talking about
David says:
I know
David says:
I haven't made any promises to anyone
David says:
do you think it is okay to date more than one person until you find the one
David says:
I'll take that as a no
$@R@|-| says:
well, as long as youre not a dick about it...and open about it
$@R@|-| says:
i dont see why not just dont lead anyone on
David says:
yeah I don't lie
$@R@|-| says:
wouldnt htink youd be the type to
David says:
I am not the kind of guy who would be all your the one I love you while dating other people
$@R@|-| says:
good on ya
David says:
even bad dave has that much of a conscience
David says:
that is why I could never be a true playa
$@R@|-| says:
bad dave might be bad but hes not a penis
David says:
he has one though
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
haha
David says:
he likes it too
David says:
and he likes that others like it
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
I gotta shower
David says:
I am an ass
$@R@|-| says:
go warsh yer arse
David says:
I was just asking for more hours yesterday
David says:
and these fall in my lap
David says:
in dec I turned down two shifts
$@R@|-| says:
well depends on how strapped for cash you wanna be this month =/
David says:
one cause I was lazy and one because I hate hte Dr that was on that day
David says:
but I wasn't short hours in Dec
David says:
now I am short
David says:
fuck
$@R@|-| says:
you gonna be okay for rent and bills if you dont take this shift?
David says:
I hope this other PA gives up her shift on Thursday
David says:
barely
David says:
fuck omatid
$@R@|-| says:
well
David says:
omatic
David says:
don't say it
$@R@|-| says:
i dunno =/
David says:
bad dave wants a drink
$@R@|-| says:
when did bad dave drin klast
David says:
last tues
David says:
one week
David says:
yay for good dave
David says:
yay for bad dave
David says:
yay for dave
David says:
I wanna drink
David says:
I am an ass
David says:
fuck
$@R@|-| says:
ok i know i know i know
David says:
I hate knowing right from wrong
$@R@|-| says:
get a piece of paper
David says:
no
David says:
I already know what will win
$@R@|-| says:
and put good dave on one side, draw a line down the middle then put bad dave
$@R@|-| says:
list the goods and the bads
David says:
ok
David says:
then
$@R@|-| says:
if there are more good you take the shift
David says:
good and bad what
$@R@|-| says:
reasons to wrk and reasons to play
$@R@|-| says:
be honest!!!!
David says:
reasons to take the shift
$@R@|-| says:
yes
David says:
the good column is
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
mnoney
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
etc
David says:
money
David says:
bad column
David says:
good food
David says:
free drink
David says:
smiley's face
David says:
smiley playing pool
David says:
more drink
$@R@|-| says:
(in a lowcut top)
David says:
which I would have to pay for
David says:
nice
David says:
but I dont think she does
David says:
but it is a nice thought
$@R@|-| says:
well, really...will you make all your bills if you miss this shift?
David says:
I will have to get a pic
David says:
no but I won't make all my bills if I take the shift
David says:
I would need like three shifts
$@R@|-| says:
well what if you skip this one and take every other shift offered from here until the end of the month
David says:
but I dont know how many shifts will come up
$@R@|-| says:
true
David says:
I am hoping the other PA will give up thurs
$@R@|-| says:
maybe you should try and get your bills paid and play on your next day off
David says:
her mom in law is real sick
$@R@|-| says:
oh oh oh
$@R@|-| says:
let her know that if she needs to go youll definitely take her shift
David says:
that is the problem
David says:
I could tell smiley thurs instead of today but then I may have to work thurs also
$@R@|-| says:
she mightfeel better knowing she is covered
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
when is your next scheduled day off?
David says:
I offered yest
David says:
thurs
$@R@|-| says:
sheeet!
David says:
then I work the whole weekend
David says:
but I will be able to see smiley on the weekend cause I only work until 9p
$@R@|-| says:
i thin kyou should go with your gut. really. when you walk out the door seee where you go
David says:
but I have two other womens who want to see me
$@R@|-| says:
whore!
David says:
David says:
David says:
you love me
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
hehe
David says:
David says:
where do you find these guys
$@R@|-| says:
random
David says:
are these part of the normal smileys?
$@R@|-| says:
nope
$@R@|-| says:
this guy i know gets a bunch of em and i steal em
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
there is no way MS sanctions p e c ke r boy
$@R@|-| says:
newp
David says:
I like the ronnie one
David says:
sec
David says:
brb
$@R@|-| says:
k
$@R@|-| says:
DAMMIT i missed CSI miami
David says:
damn
David says:
you need tivo
$@R@|-| says:
no i need aall the seasons on DVD
David says:
my brother and I got it for the folks and it is so cool
David says:
I want it
David says:
it is almost as good
$@R@|-| says:
miami is my favourite by CSI NY is cool...gorier though
David says:
i love TV on DVD
$@R@|-| says:
i also want Scrubs on dvd
David says:
I hate waiting a week to see something
David says:
season 2 is out
$@R@|-| says:
i dont i lik watching tv
David says:
i have only seen 1 or 2 episodes
$@R@|-| says:
scrubs is my new fave
David says:
it's funny
$@R@|-| says:
but i never woulda watched it in the states
David says:
some one at work recently said it is just everbody having sex with everyone else
$@R@|-| says:
naaah
$@R@|-| says:
its comic genius
David says:
has it turned it to that
David says:
I didnt' think so
$@R@|-| says:
theres sex but thats not all it is
David says:
I like the episode where the intern thought flashing a guy brought him back to life
$@R@|-| says:
i havent seen that one
David says:
I caught the second half
$@R@|-| says:
i can say that any ep with the one doctor...the um...the oe who gave all the youger doctors nicknames...hes my favourite
David says:
it wont let me copy your profile pic
David says:
send it to me
David says:
pleeeeeeeeeeeeese
The file you attempted to send has been detected as potentially unsafe and was not sent.
David says:
the mean guy
$@R@|-| says:
fucks sake sec
David says:
tall thin
$@R@|-| says:
yes i LOOOVE him
$@R@|-| says:
he cracks me up
David says:
I dont' know his name but he is funny
David says:
I didn't know he gave them nicknames
David says:
I don't see it enoght
David says:
enough
$@R@|-| sends:
$@R@|-| says:
he calls em Newbie and barbie and stuff
Transfer of "retardav.jpg" is complete.
David says:
I gotta get ready one drink coming up
$@R@|-| says:
have a good time
David says:
I am listening to My United States of Whatever
David says:
so you know it is on now
$@R@|-| says:
yeeeeaaaaah! bad dave!
David says:
I gotta shower shave iron a shirt and get condoms before dad shows up
$@R@|-| says:
get going!!!!
$@R@|-| says:
and be careful driving dammit!
David says:
I am driving dad's car down town (that will be after only one drink) after that it is all smiley all the time
$@R@|-| says:
k
$@R@|-| says:
*points*
David says:
I am a good boy
$@R@|-| says:
good
David says:
I try not to drive after drinking
$@R@|-| says:
excellent
David says:
have a drink with me
David says:
we haven't drunk chatted in a long time
$@R@|-| says:
lemme go grab a coke
$@R@|-| says:
i know! omg
David says:
I even have SoCo in the house for the first time in months
$@R@|-| says:
i try not to drink alone anymore i make myself too sick the next day
David says:
just drink one or tow
David says:
wheres nick
$@R@|-| says:
he's sleeping..not feeling well
David says:
oh
$@R@|-| says:
im trying to be quiet
David says:
its like 10 there right
$@R@|-| says:
hafl ten
$@R@|-| says:
half ten*
David says:
yeah sumptin like that
David says:
430 here
$@R@|-| says:
ie 10 30
David says:
i know
$@R@|-| says:
i like half ten better
David says:
im crazy not stupid
David says:
me
David says:
too
David says:
ok gonna quick post
David says:
after I pour a drink
$@R@|-| says:
oh shut up! i dunno who i gotta splin stuff to
David says:
bad dave in the house
$@R@|-| says:
bad dave gonna get hurt
David says:
but it hurts so good
David says:
drink is poured time for
$@R@|-| says:
you say that now
David says:
your daily dose of
David says:
ADD
$@R@|-| says:
ok go post. get your shit ready
$@R@|-| says:
cheers
David says:
thank you
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
and dont forget to copy/paste
David says:
thank you
$@R@|-| says:
now its time to pee, get a coke and some chockies. back in a mo
David says:
otay
$@R@|-| says:
did you see my new toy?
David says:
you got a vibrator
David says:
?
$@R@|-| says:
no!
$@R@|-| says:
i wouldnt tell you about that you ass
David says:
i tell you everything
$@R@|-| says:
girls gotta have her secrets
David says:
if I get a new vibrator you are the first person I am telling
$@R@|-| says:
SWEET
David says:
whether you like it or not
$@R@|-| says:
i think what i got is better than a vibrator though
David says:
red wants to go to an adult toy shop
$@R@|-| says:
ooOOoo
$@R@|-| says:
that could be fun
David says:
she has never masturbated
David says:
so she say
$@R@|-| says:
i didnt till i was like 22
David says:
really
$@R@|-| says:
so shes prolly telling the truth
David says:
I may get her to masturbate at 21
$@R@|-| says:
nnot as easy for a girl we have to go digging
David says:
oh I think she is
David says:
not really the important shit is on the outside
$@R@|-| says:
i was never really interested in that shit anyway when i was growing up
David says:
she says she used to watch porn alot when she was away for college
David says:
how can you watch porn and not masturbazte
David says:
isn't that the point
$@R@|-| says:
easy you just dont
$@R@|-| says:
i dunno
David says:
okazy
$@R@|-| says:
im not big on pr0n
David says:
i know
David says:
but Im a guy
$@R@|-| says:
heehee
$@R@|-| says:
NO!
$@R@|-| says:
you dont say!
David says:
and although I am not into it as much as other guys
David says:
I still think the point is to get turned on and take care of business
$@R@|-| says:
some guys are fuckin freaks
David says:
although other guys will watch it from beginning to end
$@R@|-| says:
YOU HAVE TO GUESS WHAT MY NEW NON SEXUAL TOY IS DAVE
$@R@|-| says:
i saw one where the pr0n stars were ailiens..it was dumb as hell
David says:
I watch it until I take care ofd business then I turn it off
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
a digi camera
David says:
?
David says:
I haven';t been to your site since the weekend
David says:
a new boyfriend
David says:
a shotgun
$@R@|-| says:
-.-
$@R@|-| says:
oh you got it first guess
David says:
a pointed bra
$@R@|-| says:
a new cam
David says:
i is smart like that
$@R@|-| says:
Nick bought it for me!!!!
David says:
ooooh oooooh now you can take nudie pics
David says:
of someone else of cours
$@R@|-| says:
i could before but im not gonna
David says:
e
$@R@|-| says:
he wont let me!
David says:
I don't wanna see
David says:
you
David says:
I gotta drink with you someday
$@R@|-| says:
no you dont i need to work out
$@R@|-| says:
ooh yes!
$@R@|-| says:
ill be in the staes in march
David says:
and you dont want me to have that image in my head when I am drinking
$@R@|-| says:
ill just punch you in the face
David says:
bad dave might see it
$@R@|-| says:
both of you
David says:
I cant; believe you just said that
$@R@|-| says:
believe it sister
David says:
that's mean
David says:
I would never do anything to you
$@R@|-| says:
i know
David says:
you should know me better than that
$@R@|-| says:
i do!
$@R@|-| says:
im just a biatch
David says:
I might make out with other chicks while you are around
$@R@|-| says:
fine with me
David says:
but I figured you would cheer me on
$@R@|-| says:
ooh ooh
$@R@|-| says:
we could so have a blogger party!
David says:
I will just tell them I am a porn star and you are my camera person
David says:
I think the pants is leaving town
David says:
have you read her recently
$@R@|-| says:
i dont wanna see you anked dave!
$@R@|-| says:
no
$@R@|-| says:
not recently
David says:
Focus on her
$@R@|-| says:
she seemed really nice but a little wild for me
David says:
but I wouldn't have you actually do it but it would explain why I am with a girl I am not dating
$@R@|-| says:
im your wingman dave
David says:
and it would let her know exactly where I stand
David says:
you got to read her
David says:
she is an escort
David says:
as in
David says:
ESCORT!
$@R@|-| says:
OMG
David says:
holy fuck a moley
$@R@|-| says:
holy shit i never knew
David says:
I couldn't bellieve it
David says:
just now
$@R@|-| says:
jesus christ
David says:
only for the past week
David says:
she said she is doing it before she leaves town
$@R@|-| says:
dang
David says:
but I don't know where she is going
David says:
fuck I should be posting
David says:
showering
$@R@|-| says:
POST!!
David says:
shaving
$@R@|-| says:
omg its my fault
David says:
buying condoms
$@R@|-| says:
go dave go! ill be here
David says:
even though I prolly wont use them tonight
David says:
otay
$@R@|-| says:
better safe...off with ye!
David says:
oh by the way btw as they say
$@R@|-| says:
i know btw
David says:
drinking on an empty stomach is a bad Idea
$@R@|-| says:
i know
David says:
I know but I apparently dont' cause I didn't think of it
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
BAD dave
David says:
until after I typed out by the way
David says:
cause I am a dork
David says:
who is buzzed after one drink
David says:
which is very unusual for my
David says:
me
David says:
I poured strong though
$@R@|-| says:
it happens to the best of us
David says:
which is very usual for me
$@R@|-| says:
oh daaaave
David says:
I gotta post and pour another drink
$@R@|-| says:
what am i gonna do with you
David says:
it is so cold in here
David says:
will you warm me up
$@R@|-| says:
go post! sign out of MSN and post
David says:
hehe
$@R@|-| says:
soco will wrm you up
David says:
boot to the head
$@R@|-| says:
boot to the arse
David says:
and one for jenny and the wimp
David says:
oooooh i like that
David says:
I am going to be loaded before dad shows up
David says:
thats bad
David says:
bad dave bad
David says:
good ubu
$@R@|-| says:
dave
$@R@|-| says:
go post
David says:
you love me
$@R@|-| says:
maybe
David says:
posting about the sexiest girl on the interweb
David says:
you
$@R@|-| says:
aaaw
David says:
I love that term but I dont' use it cause I dont' want to steaal from tony
$@R@|-| says:
someday ill get my pic up on tony's site...only ill be dressed
David says:
you gotta show something
David says:
a lttle leg
David says:
back belly
$@R@|-| says:
tummy
David says:
fay mow sent me a good dimple pic
David says:
gotta post that right now
$@R@|-| says:
oh was that her the heart?
$@R@|-| says:
ah!
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE go post
David says:
i think faymow is a guy
$@R@|-| says:
*shrug*
David says:
but the heart was rescue babe
$@R@|-| says:
aaw
$@R@|-| says:
ill tell ya one thing before you go...
$@R@|-| says:
that ethneos and his/her sacral whatever shit...i want to slap their face off
$@R@|-| says:
its annoying. im the oly one whos allowed to be annoying on yur blog
David says:
she posted it on her site too so I guess I could have identified he r but I forgot to ask before i posted so I didn't
David says:
fuck him and his sacral dimples
$@R@|-| says:
prolly better you dont so she doesnt get bad raffic
David says:
I am going to call them ass dimples
$@R@|-| says:
i call em thumbrests
David says:
or thumb rest of the day
David says:
if he doesn't cut it out
$@R@|-| says:
back dimples is ine though
$@R@|-| says:
doo eet!
$@R@|-| says:
ethneos is a fucking dopehead anyway he can fuck off
David says:
red has thumbrests but she is so skinniy I cant feel them in teh dark
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
go post before i hurt you
David says:
her bdy type is like blondie who is an ex girlfriend but blondie was athletic and was toned and firm
David says:
red is kinda soft
David says:
i dont like that as much
$@R@|-| says:
cant be that bad though
David says:
i am so buzze di cnat believe it
$@R@|-| says:
long as she doesnt jiggle everywhere
David says:
no
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE
David says:
sex last time was really good
David says:
getting better
David says:
i met this other girl
David says:
will you lose respect for me if I tell you things
$@R@|-| says:
no dave, but i will if youre late again
David says:
fuck it is 5pm
$@R@|-| says:
you can tell me whatever you want im a locked box
David says:
dad is on the phone
$@R@|-| says:
heehee
David says:
fuck dad is on schedule so I will have to shower and not post
David says:
I am having another drink though
$@R@|-| says:
ok
David says:
I hope I dont mak an ass of myself
David says:
much
David says:
I still hate that smiley
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
almost as much as I hat e this one
David says:
I like that guy but it is not me
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
well lets worry about that later. GO WASH YOUR NUTSACK AND IRO YER SIRT
David says:
even this guy looks dorky
$@R@|-| says:
heehee
David says:
hehe you said nutsack
$@R@|-| says:
yup!
David says:
I am going to plan to go to ireland in 07
David says:
will you come south to see me
$@R@|-| says:
im in northern ireland.
$@R@|-| says:
no
David says:
why
$@R@|-| says:
you have to coe north. its better here
David says:
come to Ireland and I will come back to NI with you
David says:
you gotta see dublin
$@R@|-| says:
well see when the time comes
David says:
that means no
David says:
i know better
$@R@|-| says:
Nick says its shit
David says:
becasue he grew up in NI
David says:
they hate each other
David says:
he grew up during the troubles
$@R@|-| says:
and we'll see doesnt mean no! i cant say where the fook ill be in 07!
David says:
my g-mom would roll over in her grave if she knew i was even talking to someone who was even just staying in NI
$@R@|-| says:
shes prolly spinnin right now
David says:
The people in I hate NI more than NI hates I
David says:
that would be funny
$@R@|-| says:
yeah so mor reason for me to NOT go there
David says:
anyway my nutsack awaits
$@R@|-| says:
go!
David says:
not anymore
David says:
the young folk dont' give a shit
David says:
and if you haven't noticed
David says:
you re american, dork
$@R@|-| says:
so?
David says:
they like us
$@R@|-| says:
yeah but im bad and i am gonna coe live here forever
David says:
it is a beautiful country
David says:
both sides
$@R@|-| says:
yep
David says:
and how can you go to any part of Ireland and not stop in dublin
David says:
I gotta go
$@R@|-| says:
by not going to ireland
$@R@|-| says:
dave youre awful!
David says:
NI is still part of Ireland no matter what the fucking politicians say
David says:
I am beautiful
David says:
I am fantastic
$@R@|-| says:
youre awful! and late!
David says:
I am the lover of all things
David says:
I am bad dave
David says:
!!!!!!
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
post a pic of your back dimples
David says:
remind me not to hit on the waitress in front of smiley
$@R@|-| says:
i need to go look in on Nick
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE!!!
David says:
my goal is now to get the number of the waitress at dinner
David says:
unless she is 50 years old
$@R@|-| says:
no its not!
David says:
yes dinner is with dad not smiley
$@R@|-| says:
well then do that but i gota go check on my sweetie
David says:
I am going to get a number at mortons if it xkills me
$@R@|-| says:
and your ass needs warshin
David says:
ok I am nuts right now but
David says:
i poured a drink remember
David says:
I will be good dave tomorrow
David says:
give him a big kiss
David says:
from me
$@R@|-| says:
i will!
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
have a good time
David says:
but it if it is anywhere but on the cheek
David says:
it is from you ok
$@R@|-| says:
k
David says:
wuv you
$@R@|-| says:
wuv j00
David says:
i forgot about wavy guy
David says:
by
David says:
beyyeyeyeybb
David says:
he this is fum
David says:
fun too
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
now that is fum
David says:
fun
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE NAKED SHOWER GO!
$@R@|-| says:
do that on the way
It is a IM convo between me and my beloved Whatsername. I wish she would post more. This cracked me up. I know it is dreck but if you read far enough it is funny as shit.
It occurred approximately January of 2006
David says:
morning
$@R@|-| says:
sup hookah
David says:
on the phone with red
$@R@|-| says:
sex-cellente
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
lol
David says:
lol
$@R@|-| says:
brb makin de bed
David says:
otay
$@R@|-| says:
otay back
You have just sent a Nudge!
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE DAVE DAVE
David says:
2 minutes
$@R@|-| says:
I get to watch a show called TittyBangBang
David says:
sweet
$@R@|-| says:
it's not pr0n though
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
i think you can watch this show online ill see if i can find it and send you the link
David says:
otay
David says:
not porn whats up with that
$@R@|-| says:
its comedy!
David says:
did I send you the link for "The internet is for porn" or did you send it to me
$@R@|-| says:
you sent it to me
$@R@|-| says:
i dont forward stuff
David says:
it is characters from a fantasy game singing
David says:
I cant remember where I found it but it is hilarious
David says:
tony has a hot pic of Raymi up
David says:
your favorite goddess of the interweb
$@R@|-| says:
its up on three sites. old news yo
$@R@|-| says:
fil had it up then she posted it then tony did
David says:
otay thebn
$@R@|-| says:
heehee
$@R@|-| says:
ive seen her boobs almost as many times as ive seen mine
David says:
I have been looking at raymi because of the party they had, but normally I read her once a week
$@R@|-| says:
*nodnod*
David says:
you dont look at your boobs daily?
$@R@|-| says:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/broadband/mediawrapper/consoles/threeplayer/bb_rm_console.shtml?nbram=1&bbram=1
David says:
And I rarely if ever read fil
$@R@|-| says:
i look many times a day
David says:
YAY!
David says:
I love your pic
David says:
you're a retard but I love you
David says:
I need to attach that to all my emails
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
you should!
David says:
I may
David says:
can I make a pic my signature
David says:
?
$@R@|-| says:
im not sure
$@R@|-| says:
that lin kis the show. watch it
David says:
Where did you get that, it won't let me right click and save
David says:
and titty bangbang wont load
$@R@|-| says:
sec
$@R@|-| says:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/tv/tittybangbang/
$@R@|-| says:
see the blue box on the right a little way down?
$@R@|-| says:
the link is there
David says:
It went there but the video wouldn't load I will try this new link
David says:
I just turned down a shift at work
David says:
fuck and I need the money
$@R@|-| says:
you prolly need realplayer
$@R@|-| says:
why!?
David says:
but I am going to a free dinner at a great steak house
David says:
and I have plans with smiley after
David says:
and I haven't seen smiley in two weeks
David says:
I didn't get her a xmas present so I should at least keep my date
David says:
fuck
David says:
I need the mones
David says:
y
David says:
damn
David says:
should I cancel and take the shift
David says:
where di you go
$@R@|-| says:
im here im thinking about your dilemma
David says:
otay think
$@R@|-| says:
well
$@R@|-| says:
i dunno =/ how long till youd have to work?
David says:
9p
David says:
dinner is 6-8:30 so I would have to leave early
David says:
and I was supposed to meet smiley at 9
$@R@|-| says:
might be good to take the shift and plan something really good for smiley later
David says:
If I had seen her this week I wouldnt feel as bad but I havent seen her since Dec 26
$@R@|-| says:
true =/
$@R@|-| says:
i dont know what i would do, probably take the shift so i could afford to treat smiley
$@R@|-| says:
not that you cant but you know what i mean
David says:
I will be able to see her on the weekend but I hate to cancel plans
$@R@|-| says:
i totally understand
David says:
I will be spending borrowed money tonight
David says:
I should take the shift
David says:
half the fun of going to these dinners is the free drinks
David says:
although I hate drinkijng in front of dad
$@R@|-| says:
take the shift dave
David says:
fuck
David says:
i don't wanna
$@R@|-| says:
she will understand!
David says:
maybe
$@R@|-| says:
she will
David says:
I was in a good mood a few minutes ago
$@R@|-| says:
aaw
$@R@|-| says:
youll still get a sweet ass dinner before!
David says:
but I will have to leave early
David says:
and take my car
David says:
which means $10-$20 for parking
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
=(
$@R@|-| says:
i dunno what to tell ya
David says:
I am I an idiot if I dont' take the shift
David says:
fuck I know I should take it
David says:
I am going to take a shower
$@R@|-| says:
ok have a think about it
David says:
have a drink about it
David says:
that
David says:
s a great idea
$@R@|-| says:
not f youre gonna go to work!
$@R@|-| says:
dave!
David says:
hehe
$@R@|-| says:
you sew people!
David says:
it's settled then
David says:
pass my drink
David says:
sewing is easy
David says:
remembering to order the right drugs or tests maybe not so much
$@R@|-| says:
bad dave!
David says:
bad dave is sooo good
$@R@|-| says:
rawr
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
you like bad dave
David says:
David says:
a lot
David says:
bad dave to the rescue
David says:
bad dave has no guilt
$@R@|-| says:
i think youre gonna be drinking to night hehe
David says:
fuck I gotta buy condoms
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
and change the damn sheets
$@R@|-| says:
>.<
David says:
I like smiley
$@R@|-| says:
=)
David says:
sometimes I feel bad that I am seeing these other girls
David says:
it's a good thing only bad dave goes out with them
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
/faceplam
$@R@|-| says:
FACE PALM DAMMIT >.<
David says:
good dave stays at home and reads the bible
David says:
/facepalm
$@R@|-| says:
damn you need to take good dave out
David says:
what is that
David says:
good dave would go to work
$@R@|-| says:
its when someone says stuff like you and you bury your face in your hand
$@R@|-| says:
make the gesture youll know what im talking about
David says:
I know
David says:
I haven't made any promises to anyone
David says:
do you think it is okay to date more than one person until you find the one
David says:
I'll take that as a no
$@R@|-| says:
well, as long as youre not a dick about it...and open about it
$@R@|-| says:
i dont see why not just dont lead anyone on
David says:
yeah I don't lie
$@R@|-| says:
wouldnt htink youd be the type to
David says:
I am not the kind of guy who would be all your the one I love you while dating other people
$@R@|-| says:
good on ya
David says:
even bad dave has that much of a conscience
David says:
that is why I could never be a true playa
$@R@|-| says:
bad dave might be bad but hes not a penis
David says:
he has one though
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
haha
David says:
he likes it too
David says:
and he likes that others like it
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
I gotta shower
David says:
I am an ass
$@R@|-| says:
go warsh yer arse
David says:
I was just asking for more hours yesterday
David says:
and these fall in my lap
David says:
in dec I turned down two shifts
$@R@|-| says:
well depends on how strapped for cash you wanna be this month =/
David says:
one cause I was lazy and one because I hate hte Dr that was on that day
David says:
but I wasn't short hours in Dec
David says:
now I am short
David says:
fuck
$@R@|-| says:
you gonna be okay for rent and bills if you dont take this shift?
David says:
I hope this other PA gives up her shift on Thursday
David says:
barely
David says:
fuck omatid
$@R@|-| says:
well
David says:
omatic
David says:
don't say it
$@R@|-| says:
i dunno =/
David says:
bad dave wants a drink
$@R@|-| says:
when did bad dave drin klast
David says:
last tues
David says:
one week
David says:
yay for good dave
David says:
yay for bad dave
David says:
yay for dave
David says:
I wanna drink
David says:
I am an ass
David says:
fuck
$@R@|-| says:
ok i know i know i know
David says:
I hate knowing right from wrong
$@R@|-| says:
get a piece of paper
David says:
no
David says:
I already know what will win
$@R@|-| says:
and put good dave on one side, draw a line down the middle then put bad dave
$@R@|-| says:
list the goods and the bads
David says:
ok
David says:
then
$@R@|-| says:
if there are more good you take the shift
David says:
good and bad what
$@R@|-| says:
reasons to wrk and reasons to play
$@R@|-| says:
be honest!!!!
David says:
reasons to take the shift
$@R@|-| says:
yes
David says:
the good column is
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
mnoney
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
money
David says:
etc
David says:
money
David says:
bad column
David says:
good food
David says:
free drink
David says:
smiley's face
David says:
smiley playing pool
David says:
more drink
$@R@|-| says:
(in a lowcut top)
David says:
which I would have to pay for
David says:
nice
David says:
but I dont think she does
David says:
but it is a nice thought
$@R@|-| says:
well, really...will you make all your bills if you miss this shift?
David says:
I will have to get a pic
David says:
no but I won't make all my bills if I take the shift
David says:
I would need like three shifts
$@R@|-| says:
well what if you skip this one and take every other shift offered from here until the end of the month
David says:
but I dont know how many shifts will come up
$@R@|-| says:
true
David says:
I am hoping the other PA will give up thurs
$@R@|-| says:
maybe you should try and get your bills paid and play on your next day off
David says:
her mom in law is real sick
$@R@|-| says:
oh oh oh
$@R@|-| says:
let her know that if she needs to go youll definitely take her shift
David says:
that is the problem
David says:
I could tell smiley thurs instead of today but then I may have to work thurs also
$@R@|-| says:
she mightfeel better knowing she is covered
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
when is your next scheduled day off?
David says:
I offered yest
David says:
thurs
$@R@|-| says:
sheeet!
David says:
then I work the whole weekend
David says:
but I will be able to see smiley on the weekend cause I only work until 9p
$@R@|-| says:
i thin kyou should go with your gut. really. when you walk out the door seee where you go
David says:
but I have two other womens who want to see me
$@R@|-| says:
whore!
David says:
David says:
David says:
you love me
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
hehe
David says:
David says:
where do you find these guys
$@R@|-| says:
random
David says:
are these part of the normal smileys?
$@R@|-| says:
nope
$@R@|-| says:
this guy i know gets a bunch of em and i steal em
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
there is no way MS sanctions p e c ke r boy
$@R@|-| says:
newp
David says:
I like the ronnie one
David says:
sec
David says:
brb
$@R@|-| says:
k
$@R@|-| says:
DAMMIT i missed CSI miami
David says:
damn
David says:
you need tivo
$@R@|-| says:
no i need aall the seasons on DVD
David says:
my brother and I got it for the folks and it is so cool
David says:
I want it
David says:
it is almost as good
$@R@|-| says:
miami is my favourite by CSI NY is cool...gorier though
David says:
i love TV on DVD
$@R@|-| says:
i also want Scrubs on dvd
David says:
I hate waiting a week to see something
David says:
season 2 is out
$@R@|-| says:
i dont i lik watching tv
David says:
i have only seen 1 or 2 episodes
$@R@|-| says:
scrubs is my new fave
David says:
it's funny
$@R@|-| says:
but i never woulda watched it in the states
David says:
some one at work recently said it is just everbody having sex with everyone else
$@R@|-| says:
naaah
$@R@|-| says:
its comic genius
David says:
has it turned it to that
David says:
I didnt' think so
$@R@|-| says:
theres sex but thats not all it is
David says:
I like the episode where the intern thought flashing a guy brought him back to life
$@R@|-| says:
i havent seen that one
David says:
I caught the second half
$@R@|-| says:
i can say that any ep with the one doctor...the um...the oe who gave all the youger doctors nicknames...hes my favourite
David says:
it wont let me copy your profile pic
David says:
send it to me
David says:
pleeeeeeeeeeeeese
The file you attempted to send has been detected as potentially unsafe and was not sent.
David says:
the mean guy
$@R@|-| says:
fucks sake sec
David says:
tall thin
$@R@|-| says:
yes i LOOOVE him
$@R@|-| says:
he cracks me up
David says:
I dont' know his name but he is funny
David says:
I didn't know he gave them nicknames
David says:
I don't see it enoght
David says:
enough
$@R@|-| sends:
$@R@|-| says:
he calls em Newbie and barbie and stuff
Transfer of "retardav.jpg" is complete.
David says:
I gotta get ready one drink coming up
$@R@|-| says:
have a good time
David says:
I am listening to My United States of Whatever
David says:
so you know it is on now
$@R@|-| says:
yeeeeaaaaah! bad dave!
David says:
I gotta shower shave iron a shirt and get condoms before dad shows up
$@R@|-| says:
get going!!!!
$@R@|-| says:
and be careful driving dammit!
David says:
I am driving dad's car down town (that will be after only one drink) after that it is all smiley all the time
$@R@|-| says:
k
$@R@|-| says:
*points*
David says:
I am a good boy
$@R@|-| says:
good
David says:
I try not to drive after drinking
$@R@|-| says:
excellent
David says:
have a drink with me
David says:
we haven't drunk chatted in a long time
$@R@|-| says:
lemme go grab a coke
$@R@|-| says:
i know! omg
David says:
I even have SoCo in the house for the first time in months
$@R@|-| says:
i try not to drink alone anymore i make myself too sick the next day
David says:
just drink one or tow
David says:
wheres nick
$@R@|-| says:
he's sleeping..not feeling well
David says:
oh
$@R@|-| says:
im trying to be quiet
David says:
its like 10 there right
$@R@|-| says:
hafl ten
$@R@|-| says:
half ten*
David says:
yeah sumptin like that
David says:
430 here
$@R@|-| says:
ie 10 30
David says:
i know
$@R@|-| says:
i like half ten better
David says:
im crazy not stupid
David says:
me
David says:
too
David says:
ok gonna quick post
David says:
after I pour a drink
$@R@|-| says:
oh shut up! i dunno who i gotta splin stuff to
David says:
bad dave in the house
$@R@|-| says:
bad dave gonna get hurt
David says:
but it hurts so good
David says:
drink is poured time for
$@R@|-| says:
you say that now
David says:
your daily dose of
David says:
ADD
$@R@|-| says:
ok go post. get your shit ready
$@R@|-| says:
cheers
David says:
thank you
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
and dont forget to copy/paste
David says:
thank you
$@R@|-| says:
now its time to pee, get a coke and some chockies. back in a mo
David says:
otay
$@R@|-| says:
did you see my new toy?
David says:
you got a vibrator
David says:
?
$@R@|-| says:
no!
$@R@|-| says:
i wouldnt tell you about that you ass
David says:
i tell you everything
$@R@|-| says:
girls gotta have her secrets
David says:
if I get a new vibrator you are the first person I am telling
$@R@|-| says:
SWEET
David says:
whether you like it or not
$@R@|-| says:
i think what i got is better than a vibrator though
David says:
red wants to go to an adult toy shop
$@R@|-| says:
ooOOoo
$@R@|-| says:
that could be fun
David says:
she has never masturbated
David says:
so she say
$@R@|-| says:
i didnt till i was like 22
David says:
really
$@R@|-| says:
so shes prolly telling the truth
David says:
I may get her to masturbate at 21
$@R@|-| says:
nnot as easy for a girl we have to go digging
David says:
oh I think she is
David says:
not really the important shit is on the outside
$@R@|-| says:
i was never really interested in that shit anyway when i was growing up
David says:
she says she used to watch porn alot when she was away for college
David says:
how can you watch porn and not masturbazte
David says:
isn't that the point
$@R@|-| says:
easy you just dont
$@R@|-| says:
i dunno
David says:
okazy
$@R@|-| says:
im not big on pr0n
David says:
i know
David says:
but Im a guy
$@R@|-| says:
heehee
$@R@|-| says:
NO!
$@R@|-| says:
you dont say!
David says:
and although I am not into it as much as other guys
David says:
I still think the point is to get turned on and take care of business
$@R@|-| says:
some guys are fuckin freaks
David says:
although other guys will watch it from beginning to end
$@R@|-| says:
YOU HAVE TO GUESS WHAT MY NEW NON SEXUAL TOY IS DAVE
$@R@|-| says:
i saw one where the pr0n stars were ailiens..it was dumb as hell
David says:
I watch it until I take care ofd business then I turn it off
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
a digi camera
David says:
?
David says:
I haven';t been to your site since the weekend
David says:
a new boyfriend
David says:
a shotgun
$@R@|-| says:
-.-
$@R@|-| says:
oh you got it first guess
David says:
a pointed bra
$@R@|-| says:
a new cam
David says:
i is smart like that
$@R@|-| says:
Nick bought it for me!!!!
David says:
ooooh oooooh now you can take nudie pics
David says:
of someone else of cours
$@R@|-| says:
i could before but im not gonna
David says:
e
$@R@|-| says:
he wont let me!
David says:
I don't wanna see
David says:
you
David says:
I gotta drink with you someday
$@R@|-| says:
no you dont i need to work out
$@R@|-| says:
ooh yes!
$@R@|-| says:
ill be in the staes in march
David says:
and you dont want me to have that image in my head when I am drinking
$@R@|-| says:
ill just punch you in the face
David says:
bad dave might see it
$@R@|-| says:
both of you
David says:
I cant; believe you just said that
$@R@|-| says:
believe it sister
David says:
that's mean
David says:
I would never do anything to you
$@R@|-| says:
i know
David says:
you should know me better than that
$@R@|-| says:
i do!
$@R@|-| says:
im just a biatch
David says:
I might make out with other chicks while you are around
$@R@|-| says:
fine with me
David says:
but I figured you would cheer me on
$@R@|-| says:
ooh ooh
$@R@|-| says:
we could so have a blogger party!
David says:
I will just tell them I am a porn star and you are my camera person
David says:
I think the pants is leaving town
David says:
have you read her recently
$@R@|-| says:
i dont wanna see you anked dave!
$@R@|-| says:
no
$@R@|-| says:
not recently
David says:
Focus on her
$@R@|-| says:
she seemed really nice but a little wild for me
David says:
but I wouldn't have you actually do it but it would explain why I am with a girl I am not dating
$@R@|-| says:
im your wingman dave
David says:
and it would let her know exactly where I stand
David says:
you got to read her
David says:
she is an escort
David says:
as in
David says:
ESCORT!
$@R@|-| says:
OMG
David says:
holy fuck a moley
$@R@|-| says:
holy shit i never knew
David says:
I couldn't bellieve it
David says:
just now
$@R@|-| says:
jesus christ
David says:
only for the past week
David says:
she said she is doing it before she leaves town
$@R@|-| says:
dang
David says:
but I don't know where she is going
David says:
fuck I should be posting
David says:
showering
$@R@|-| says:
POST!!
David says:
shaving
$@R@|-| says:
omg its my fault
David says:
buying condoms
$@R@|-| says:
go dave go! ill be here
David says:
even though I prolly wont use them tonight
David says:
otay
$@R@|-| says:
better safe...off with ye!
David says:
oh by the way btw as they say
$@R@|-| says:
i know btw
David says:
drinking on an empty stomach is a bad Idea
$@R@|-| says:
i know
David says:
I know but I apparently dont' cause I didn't think of it
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
BAD dave
David says:
until after I typed out by the way
David says:
cause I am a dork
David says:
who is buzzed after one drink
David says:
which is very unusual for my
David says:
me
David says:
I poured strong though
$@R@|-| says:
it happens to the best of us
David says:
which is very usual for me
$@R@|-| says:
oh daaaave
David says:
I gotta post and pour another drink
$@R@|-| says:
what am i gonna do with you
David says:
it is so cold in here
David says:
will you warm me up
$@R@|-| says:
go post! sign out of MSN and post
David says:
hehe
$@R@|-| says:
soco will wrm you up
David says:
boot to the head
$@R@|-| says:
boot to the arse
David says:
and one for jenny and the wimp
David says:
oooooh i like that
David says:
I am going to be loaded before dad shows up
David says:
thats bad
David says:
bad dave bad
David says:
good ubu
$@R@|-| says:
dave
$@R@|-| says:
go post
David says:
you love me
$@R@|-| says:
maybe
David says:
posting about the sexiest girl on the interweb
David says:
you
$@R@|-| says:
aaaw
David says:
I love that term but I dont' use it cause I dont' want to steaal from tony
$@R@|-| says:
someday ill get my pic up on tony's site...only ill be dressed
David says:
you gotta show something
David says:
a lttle leg
David says:
back belly
$@R@|-| says:
tummy
David says:
fay mow sent me a good dimple pic
David says:
gotta post that right now
$@R@|-| says:
oh was that her the heart?
$@R@|-| says:
ah!
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE go post
David says:
i think faymow is a guy
$@R@|-| says:
*shrug*
David says:
but the heart was rescue babe
$@R@|-| says:
aaw
$@R@|-| says:
ill tell ya one thing before you go...
$@R@|-| says:
that ethneos and his/her sacral whatever shit...i want to slap their face off
$@R@|-| says:
its annoying. im the oly one whos allowed to be annoying on yur blog
David says:
she posted it on her site too so I guess I could have identified he r but I forgot to ask before i posted so I didn't
David says:
fuck him and his sacral dimples
$@R@|-| says:
prolly better you dont so she doesnt get bad raffic
David says:
I am going to call them ass dimples
$@R@|-| says:
i call em thumbrests
David says:
or thumb rest of the day
David says:
if he doesn't cut it out
$@R@|-| says:
back dimples is ine though
$@R@|-| says:
doo eet!
$@R@|-| says:
ethneos is a fucking dopehead anyway he can fuck off
David says:
red has thumbrests but she is so skinniy I cant feel them in teh dark
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
go post before i hurt you
David says:
her bdy type is like blondie who is an ex girlfriend but blondie was athletic and was toned and firm
David says:
red is kinda soft
David says:
i dont like that as much
$@R@|-| says:
cant be that bad though
David says:
i am so buzze di cnat believe it
$@R@|-| says:
long as she doesnt jiggle everywhere
David says:
no
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE
David says:
sex last time was really good
David says:
getting better
David says:
i met this other girl
David says:
will you lose respect for me if I tell you things
$@R@|-| says:
no dave, but i will if youre late again
David says:
fuck it is 5pm
$@R@|-| says:
you can tell me whatever you want im a locked box
David says:
dad is on the phone
$@R@|-| says:
heehee
David says:
fuck dad is on schedule so I will have to shower and not post
David says:
I am having another drink though
$@R@|-| says:
ok
David says:
I hope I dont mak an ass of myself
David says:
much
David says:
I still hate that smiley
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
almost as much as I hat e this one
David says:
I like that guy but it is not me
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
well lets worry about that later. GO WASH YOUR NUTSACK AND IRO YER SIRT
David says:
even this guy looks dorky
$@R@|-| says:
heehee
David says:
hehe you said nutsack
$@R@|-| says:
yup!
David says:
I am going to plan to go to ireland in 07
David says:
will you come south to see me
$@R@|-| says:
im in northern ireland.
$@R@|-| says:
no
David says:
why
$@R@|-| says:
you have to coe north. its better here
David says:
come to Ireland and I will come back to NI with you
David says:
you gotta see dublin
$@R@|-| says:
well see when the time comes
David says:
that means no
David says:
i know better
$@R@|-| says:
Nick says its shit
David says:
becasue he grew up in NI
David says:
they hate each other
David says:
he grew up during the troubles
$@R@|-| says:
and we'll see doesnt mean no! i cant say where the fook ill be in 07!
David says:
my g-mom would roll over in her grave if she knew i was even talking to someone who was even just staying in NI
$@R@|-| says:
shes prolly spinnin right now
David says:
The people in I hate NI more than NI hates I
David says:
that would be funny
$@R@|-| says:
yeah so mor reason for me to NOT go there
David says:
anyway my nutsack awaits
$@R@|-| says:
go!
David says:
not anymore
David says:
the young folk dont' give a shit
David says:
and if you haven't noticed
David says:
you re american, dork
$@R@|-| says:
so?
David says:
they like us
$@R@|-| says:
yeah but im bad and i am gonna coe live here forever
David says:
it is a beautiful country
David says:
both sides
$@R@|-| says:
yep
David says:
and how can you go to any part of Ireland and not stop in dublin
David says:
I gotta go
$@R@|-| says:
by not going to ireland
$@R@|-| says:
dave youre awful!
David says:
NI is still part of Ireland no matter what the fucking politicians say
David says:
I am beautiful
David says:
I am fantastic
$@R@|-| says:
youre awful! and late!
David says:
I am the lover of all things
David says:
I am bad dave
David says:
!!!!!!
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
post a pic of your back dimples
David says:
remind me not to hit on the waitress in front of smiley
$@R@|-| says:
i need to go look in on Nick
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE!!!
David says:
my goal is now to get the number of the waitress at dinner
David says:
unless she is 50 years old
$@R@|-| says:
no its not!
David says:
yes dinner is with dad not smiley
$@R@|-| says:
well then do that but i gota go check on my sweetie
David says:
I am going to get a number at mortons if it xkills me
$@R@|-| says:
and your ass needs warshin
David says:
ok I am nuts right now but
David says:
i poured a drink remember
David says:
I will be good dave tomorrow
David says:
give him a big kiss
David says:
from me
$@R@|-| says:
i will!
$@R@|-| says:
$@R@|-| says:
have a good time
David says:
but it if it is anywhere but on the cheek
David says:
it is from you ok
$@R@|-| says:
k
David says:
wuv you
$@R@|-| says:
wuv j00
David says:
i forgot about wavy guy
David says:
by
David says:
beyyeyeyeybb
David says:
he this is fum
David says:
fun too
$@R@|-| says:
David says:
now that is fum
David says:
fun
David says:
$@R@|-| says:
DAVE NAKED SHOWER GO!
$@R@|-| says:
do that on the way
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sweet, never short
I was planning on getting on line and ranting about some of the shit that is pissing me off lately, but unfortunately one of the things pissing me off is that I am awake when I should be sleeping and sleeping when I should be awake. One of the biproducts of this is that my laundry is still not done and although I would love to spend an hour on here spouting out a hilarious tirade about what is wrong with society, my desire to not to go to work commando style because I have no clean underwear is stronger and will have to leave you with this little tease.
PS- Tony is back. You should still tell him you love him, he likes that. If you are cute and female you can send him naked pictures, he REALLY likes that.
PS- Tony is back. You should still tell him you love him, he likes that. If you are cute and female you can send him naked pictures, he REALLY likes that.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I think we've moved from off axis to upside down
Yesterday I posted about the temporary silence from the part of the universe known as tony pierce. (not capitalized on purpose} The silence continues. Early this morning at work The Matador said he read my post. It took me a second to remember what my post was about then I said "Can you believe it? Have you seen his web site?" "Are you kidding me," he replied "I checked it Thursday, Friday, and Saturday." Matador is one the the many converts to the religious experience that is tony pierce. He has been reading him daily since he found him through my blog. Sorry tony, I violated Rule #5. Actually my brother did. Matador had no idea I had a blog until my brother mentioned in front of Matador that he had read my blog the day before. It took Matador about a week to find it. It should have taken him 5 seconds, but he decided to Google all the wrong things before the light went on and he googled the most obvious.
But he has found it and through it tony pierce. He is at least the second. The illustrious Whatsername was the first. It is a shame she doesn't blog anymore, or at least not regularly. Not like I should talk.
I said to Matador, "At first I thought he lost his job at LAist, but he is still posting there" Matador replied, "No it would have to be something else, maybe his mom died." I stopped talking. I think I may have stopped breathing. My heart stopped, my jaw dropped and I started to walk away. Quietly I said, "I didn't even think of that." I kept walking. " Thank you for making me feel better". He didn't.
I hope nothing even remotely that disasterous has occurred in tony's life. I can't even image such a thing happening. My parents are quickly passing old into really old. Tony my prayers are with you. I hope your decision to stop posting is motivated by moving on to bigger and better things. Please up date us. You wouldn't believe how may people are thinking about you.
Now on to the reason I was reminded of that crappy conversation. Some did die. Someone I knew. I am to young for people I know to die. Last year a someone I knew from my childhood passed away and I attended the wake. I mentioned it in a post but kind of skipped over how it made me feel and left a light hearted attempt at humor instead. Humor seems to be the way I deal with just about everything.
On Thursday, Randy Orzada, a Chicago Fire Department Paramedic was killed. Mowed down by a passing car. He was forty three apparently. Some news sources have reported thirty three, but if memory of his age relative to mine is correct, forty three sounds about right.
Forty three however is way wrong for an obituary page.
The articles about him say the usual things, great uncle, good neighbor, but the truth is he was a Oh my God can he really be that nice, nice guy. I think anyone who ever knew him would have no problem describing him as Too Nice. Too Nice. Why do we think it is possible to be too nice. Like it's a bad thing. Too mean-bad. Too drunk-bad. Too spicy-sometimes bad. But too good, I think that is just a way to make ourselves feel better. You're too good, don't be so good. That way I don't look so bad. Randy achieved to good and the world is better for it. Hopefully the rest of us eventually attempt to be better, and realize that if all of us did that we wouldn't have to say too good like it's an insult.
I am going to his wake tonight. I will see people I have not seen and years and that will be a happy thing. I will need it to balance out the sadness.
I am going to go contemplate the meaning of life the universe and everything now. I am always willing to share my thoughts but my feelings will cost you extra.
Please send a prayer to the Diety of your choice for Randy's family and friends that they be comforted.
Good Night and Good Luck.
But he has found it and through it tony pierce. He is at least the second. The illustrious Whatsername was the first. It is a shame she doesn't blog anymore, or at least not regularly. Not like I should talk.
I said to Matador, "At first I thought he lost his job at LAist, but he is still posting there" Matador replied, "No it would have to be something else, maybe his mom died." I stopped talking. I think I may have stopped breathing. My heart stopped, my jaw dropped and I started to walk away. Quietly I said, "I didn't even think of that." I kept walking. " Thank you for making me feel better". He didn't.
I hope nothing even remotely that disasterous has occurred in tony's life. I can't even image such a thing happening. My parents are quickly passing old into really old. Tony my prayers are with you. I hope your decision to stop posting is motivated by moving on to bigger and better things. Please up date us. You wouldn't believe how may people are thinking about you.
Now on to the reason I was reminded of that crappy conversation. Some did die. Someone I knew. I am to young for people I know to die. Last year a someone I knew from my childhood passed away and I attended the wake. I mentioned it in a post but kind of skipped over how it made me feel and left a light hearted attempt at humor instead. Humor seems to be the way I deal with just about everything.
On Thursday, Randy Orzada, a Chicago Fire Department Paramedic was killed. Mowed down by a passing car. He was forty three apparently. Some news sources have reported thirty three, but if memory of his age relative to mine is correct, forty three sounds about right.
Forty three however is way wrong for an obituary page.
The articles about him say the usual things, great uncle, good neighbor, but the truth is he was a Oh my God can he really be that nice, nice guy. I think anyone who ever knew him would have no problem describing him as Too Nice. Too Nice. Why do we think it is possible to be too nice. Like it's a bad thing. Too mean-bad. Too drunk-bad. Too spicy-sometimes bad. But too good, I think that is just a way to make ourselves feel better. You're too good, don't be so good. That way I don't look so bad. Randy achieved to good and the world is better for it. Hopefully the rest of us eventually attempt to be better, and realize that if all of us did that we wouldn't have to say too good like it's an insult.
I am going to his wake tonight. I will see people I have not seen and years and that will be a happy thing. I will need it to balance out the sadness.
I am going to go contemplate the meaning of life the universe and everything now. I am always willing to share my thoughts but my feelings will cost you extra.
Please send a prayer to the Diety of your choice for Randy's family and friends that they be comforted.
Good Night and Good Luck.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Don't you hate when the Earth falls off it's axis
There are very few constants in the universe.
The sun will rise in the East and set in the West
Gravity
The blinking 12:00 on the few VCRs that still exist
They will always screw you at the drive thru, especially at KFC
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely
Someone else will win the lotto
AND.........
And tony pierce will post once if not twice a day. And he will always be funny as hell. Twice as funny if he is mad at someone/something.
Tony Pierce hasn't posted in 3 days. I have been following his blog for at least 2 years and I have never seen him go even a day without a post. He posts drunk, he posts drunk, he even posts when he should be in the other room doing beautiful things to a beautiful naked teenage girl. 3 days. It feels like I lost a friend. Tony and I didn't correspond much and I only met him once, but it was rare that his blog did not make me smile.
Please go see him and tell him you love him. Even if you don't know who he is. I would tell you to look at his archives but he removed the links. The bland background minimal layout shows no trace of the active, imaginative, exciting blog that used to occupy that address.
Tony come back.
The sun will rise in the East and set in the West
Gravity
The blinking 12:00 on the few VCRs that still exist
They will always screw you at the drive thru, especially at KFC
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely
Someone else will win the lotto
AND.........
And tony pierce will post once if not twice a day. And he will always be funny as hell. Twice as funny if he is mad at someone/something.
Tony Pierce hasn't posted in 3 days. I have been following his blog for at least 2 years and I have never seen him go even a day without a post. He posts drunk, he posts drunk, he even posts when he should be in the other room doing beautiful things to a beautiful naked teenage girl. 3 days. It feels like I lost a friend. Tony and I didn't correspond much and I only met him once, but it was rare that his blog did not make me smile.
Please go see him and tell him you love him. Even if you don't know who he is. I would tell you to look at his archives but he removed the links. The bland background minimal layout shows no trace of the active, imaginative, exciting blog that used to occupy that address.
Tony come back.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Whassup
I am about to be late to work which is when I usually have the urge to put something down here. Lucky for me I don't have much to say. What I will tell you is that I have finished Season 3 part 2 of Entourage. I still can't say it is a great show but it is a good show and you should watch it. It really is how a group of guys interacts. Especially a group of guys who have come into some money. Each season finale has been fantastic and it is so worth watching the whole season to get there.
I have also discovered a new web site, www.livemocha.com Also not life changing, but if you want to learn or practice another language and don't have a lot of time or money this is the place. I am currently learning Spanish and Hindi. I think your other options are French, German, and Chinese. How cool is that.
Anyway time to go.
Explore the universe, you might find something you like.
I have also discovered a new web site, www.livemocha.com Also not life changing, but if you want to learn or practice another language and don't have a lot of time or money this is the place. I am currently learning Spanish and Hindi. I think your other options are French, German, and Chinese. How cool is that.
Anyway time to go.
Explore the universe, you might find something you like.
Talk about procrastination
I can believe my last post was in August. A lot has happened since then. Alot of work, some very expensive drinking. The cubs fell apart on me. Crying. Ignoring Sox fans. Hung out with people I worked with 3 years ago and had a great time. There are pictures and such and if I ever stop avoiding things I need and want to do you will see them. Met a girl, talked to her for 2 hours, set up a dinner date, then called her the next day to find out that she gave me a disconnected number. I was happy about that.
But today we will talk about nonsense. Or at least something amusing. Hits generated by searches. The last three searches that led people to my site are
Picture of man walks in to glass- explain this one to me
Women like horse cock- from the Arabic Google no less. So the muslims can't have sex before marriage but they can look at a woman sucking on a horse's schlong while masturbating. Yep that makes sense.
Chick walks into a gynecologist- Doesn't the gynecologist usually walk into the chick? And I prefer the term gynechiatrist.
The next seven were:
Man walks into a bar with a chicken
Common bar shots
Wingman shots- You have to buy your wingman shots, why else would he hit on the fat chick
Waiting for my sweetheart- aren't we all
Juggs party
I have lost my common sense- I am glad I am not the only one
Mmmmm......Pizza- Apparently Homer has figured out how to use Google
I love the internet.
But today we will talk about nonsense. Or at least something amusing. Hits generated by searches. The last three searches that led people to my site are
Picture of man walks in to glass- explain this one to me
Women like horse cock- from the Arabic Google no less. So the muslims can't have sex before marriage but they can look at a woman sucking on a horse's schlong while masturbating. Yep that makes sense.
Chick walks into a gynecologist- Doesn't the gynecologist usually walk into the chick? And I prefer the term gynechiatrist.
The next seven were:
Man walks into a bar with a chicken
Common bar shots
Wingman shots- You have to buy your wingman shots, why else would he hit on the fat chick
Waiting for my sweetheart- aren't we all
Juggs party
I have lost my common sense- I am glad I am not the only one
Mmmmm......Pizza- Apparently Homer has figured out how to use Google
I love the internet.
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