Well at least now I know

That I can withstand being tortured if it ever comes to that. I just finished watching Must Love Dogs. All the way through. Without shutting it off. Ok, I did get up at one point to take the DVD out of the player, but every man screams when they attach the jumper cables to his testicles. Unfortunately there is no timer on my piece of shit RCA DVD player because I wanted to see how far I made it through the movie. But as I was standing there about to eject the disk the movies one and only almost sex seen occurred and then Diane Lane was naked in the shower, and then there was a funny part, and then I was tired of standing so I sat back down on the couch, chich turned into laying on the couch, which turned into to me watching the end of the movie. Oh, my god that was a painful experience. Has there ever been more cheesy music in a movie. Or a more predictable plot. I know it was a chick flick and it is supposed to have a happy ending but come on already.

Speaking of chick flicks, I swear some woman broke in to my house got on my netflix account and ordered all these chick flicks. Four of the last five movies I have received were chick flicks. They are Must Love Dogs, The Notebook, The Holiday, and The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That last one I would have ordered even if I hadn't turned into a chick at 2 in the morning and went hog wild on chick flicks. And technically it is a romantic comedy but it is the quirky kind of comedy I like. It really is worth watching. And thankfully Jim Carrey is not his normal slapstick annoying self.

Speaking of breaking into my apartment, about once every two weeks for the last two months I have found a window in my apartment open about an inch. Just enough to run my gas bills through the roof. And it is never the same window. Today it was my office window and almost nobody goes in there. It's quite dangerous actually. The stacks of papers and books have gotten so large they are starting to connect. I believe they are conspiring against me. Maybe they are opening the windows. Or maybe it is because I recently told a friend that although I believe in the possibility of ghosts I do not believe they can physically move things in our world.

Speaking of ghosts I was flipping channels the other day and seeing as I don't have cable that doesn't take very long. And I came across ghostbusters on the Spanish channel. They apparently love Bill Murray on the Spanish channel because I am always seeing one of his movies. Anyway it was the seen where Bill Murray shows up and Sigourney Weaver is already possessed. It is quite funny even in Spanish.

And speaking of aging comics, Billy Crystal played for the Yankees. The actual Yankees. But only for one day. Actually only one at bat. In spring training. But still it must have been pretty exciting. I hope it doesn't spawn a whole slew of entertainers trying to do the same thing.

And while I was at home on a Friday watching bad movies, The Matador was out picking up women. With my pick-up lines no less. It seems that Matador's luck at picking up women is the same as his luck at roulette in that it is inversely proportionate to my proximity of him. I'm like that guy in A Bronx Tale, not only do I have bad luck I am bad luck for those around me. How's that for a talent.

Well tomorrow should be a better day, and hopefully Matador's internet is down because we plan on going out tomorrow, that is unless he reads this and wises up.