Monday, May 19, 2008


Because I still can't muster up the energy/focus/desire to write a real post, I will blabber.

Because my drinking friends are all occupied, I will stay home.

Because I am obsessed with SCRABBLE I will study, and play.

Because I hate boring slow moving activities, I will drink.

Because I have slept 2 hours in the past 30, this may be a bad idea.

Because I may wake up in Jersey, or Denver, or in your front yard, you should be prepared to lend me bus fare.

It's a good thing I can no longer get into Canada with out a passport.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

In Love I Tell You

So why am I posting at 2 o'clock in the morning?

Because I have fucked up my sleep schedule so badly that I am apparently not capable of sleeping for more than 4-5 hours at a time. But then I am of course dead tired after 6-8 hours and want to go back to sleep.

I fell asleep at about 9:30pm last night which is highly unusual but I just couldn't keep open my damn eyelids. I woke up at 12:30 in a complete panic. I think I was in the middle of a dream where I was at work and then suddenly I am in my bed in the middle of the night completely sure I was supposed to be at work. At first I thought the 12:30 on the clock meant I was and hour and a half late for work then the fact that is pitch black out side set in and I realized it was the middle of the night and I should go back to bed. I woke up an hour and a half later after one of the craziest dreams I have had or at least remembered in the longest time.

It starts and I am in someone's kitchen in North Carolina. I am with people that I know in the dream but don't think I have ever seen in real life. I am with two black women that I apparently know and are very good friend's with each other and we are sitting in the kitchen of a group of old white people that I apparently just met, how I don't know. We are apparently very comfortable with them.

We began playing cards. $30 was the apparent buy in which they collected and then announced that we would each be playing with $375 to start, but then instead of distributing chips they passed out cash. Now how my $30 became $375 I will never know. Must be some sort of water to wine thing.

So we are playing and betting insane amounts of money for the poor cards we are showing. I will be honest and tell you that I have no idea what game we were playing. It was definitely a form or poker. Possibly Night Baseball which is a form of 7 card stud where you don't get to look at your cards until it is time for you to turn them over. But we seemed to be playing with a ridiculous number of cards. I had bet $50 on my 2 sevens. Then it went around the table to one of the women I knew who then bet $300 on 3 or 4 of something and began taunting her friend who eventually folded and I was next. I had a lot of cards left but thought the chances of winning were poor and I folded. I then checked my cards to find that I had a queen high straight and a full house eights over sevens. I told you it was a recockulous number of cards.

Then one of the older gentlemen, the owner of the house I believe, regaled of us a tale of how he escaped a bear. The weird part was that I could see the entire scene as he was telling it. As if I could see into his brain or were watching it on TV while he narrated. It was very odd. He went up to a tent that had a sign outside. DANGER! BEAR So he went up to look inside and of course the bear lunged and tore through the tent and started chasing him with its rear two legs still tangled in the tent. And I'm pretty sure it was a polar bear. Do you think I watch to much LOST? I unfortunately cannot remember how he actually escaped the bear.

The next day I am leave their house to go for a walk and a mountain lion starts chasing me (I did say this was a bizarre dream) and I am able to some how out run the mountain lion until I get to a hunting lodge which is located about 300 ft up a on a platform. How I made it up the stairs with out being killed I don't know. I actually don't remember going up stairs, just that I was up in the air. So the lion bites my hand as I am outside the hunting lodge on a platform that surrounds the lodge. Now the lion for what ever reason bites and holds instead of repeatedly biting which what I assume a normal mountain lion would do. So my hand is stuck in it's mouth and I am screaming for help, crawling toward the door and it opens, and a guy with a shotgun is standing there. The mountain lion releases my hand and I crawl past the man into the lodge. He says something to the lion and it stares at him. He then repeats this command in spanish and the lion sits down and the man closes the door and comes inside. The two fingers that were stuck in the lion's mouth hurt like hell but are unscathed, as if they were in space between the lion's teeth.

I am then sitting on the floor with the park ranger (I'm assuming) and talking while I am rubbing my sore fingers. We are sitting in a part of the lodge that is apparently only seperated from the outside platform by a rope wall with very large spaces between the ropes and if I recall correctly it only went up about 3-4 feet and then it was open space. We are sitting here calmly talking while the mountain lion paces back and forth looking through these holes at us. I ask the ranger if the gun was loaded and he says no. I look for a reaction from the lion who apparently understands speech. Then I remember he only understand Spanish and I am no longer concerned.

Cut to several minutes later and I am sitting outside on the platform with a friend. I am currently not sure who this was but I think it was a friend of a friend from Hawaii. We are sitting there and out of the sky an object comes flying at us and impales into the aluminum wall of the lodge. It is a 2=3 ft long paper airplane made out of white cardboard, just thicker than poster board. Another one comes toward us but misses the lodge. There is nothing in the direction from which these came for miles and miles.

Fast forward again and another friend is on the platform with us. This I am pretty sure is my friend Bill from Hawaii. We are talking, he is standing and me and the person I think was Briam are sitting. Bill sees the hole in the wall and says what the hell happened. We look in the direction the plane came from and of course there is another airplane coming toward us. This one is broader winged and slower moving. Behind that we see one of the sleeker missile like planes coming up behind it and it knocks the first plane out of the sky. Behind that is another of the wide winged planes and another missile plane. This one misses the plane but comes right at us and we have to move to avoid it as it drives into the wall behind us. We look up and there are more missile planes. Some of them miss the lodge others hit their targets and others poke holes in the wall and remain sticking out of the wall.

The dream ends about this time. If you can tell me what this all means, by all means feel free.

I'm officially in love

With the Amateur Transplants

Friday, May 09, 2008

It's nice to know.....

That Chicagoan's aren't the only ones who hate their public transportation system.

Found by Accordian Guy.