Sunday, March 30, 2008


Don't you wish you could buy that on e-bay? I know I do.

I saw the movie "21" today. It was ok. I'd say rent it. You may actually like it. Especially if you haven't read the book Bringing Down The House. If you have read the book, I suggest you just re-read it, it will be more satisfying.

After the movie I played scrabble with monkey. She beat me by 3 points if you go by just raw score, but we're dorks and we play with a timer and there is a 10pt penalty for every minute you are over the allowed 25 minutes. She was over by 15 minutes, which very unlike her. Usually it is I, who am several minutes over. Afterwards she went to bed and I realized she was crying. She was upset because she wants to be "Good" at something. I tried to tell her she can't excel at something unless she puts time and effort into it, but I of course come off as a preaching dad and that is not how I want to be. She is borderline ADD just like me and that is a hard thing to overcome because it kind of fucks up any chance of any kind of routine because you can't do the same thing as yesterday if you can't remember yesterday or even think of yesterday.

I don't have much to say and typing is just kind of annoying right now so this is all you get.

PS- I hope they paid Kevin Spacey a lot of money for him to take such a small and non challenging role. He was certainly good at it, there just wasn't much to it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Have you ever

Have you ever had a dream where you are in a place where there shouldn't be a an alarm clock, but there is an alarm clock. And it is going off. And you can't turn it off no matter how many buttons you push. BEEP BEEP BEEP And people are looking at you BEEP BEEP BEEP but you can't turn it off BEEP BEEP BEEP so you unplug it BEEP BEEP BEEP but keeps going so you BEEP BEEP BEEP yank out the batteries but it keeps BEEP BEEP BEEP going off so you throw the thing to BEEP BEEP BEEP the ground and BEEP BEEP BEEP stomp the shit out of it but it keeps going off and you are losing your mind?

It means your alarm is going off.


Saturday, March 15, 2008

Pouring myself a drink

I suggest you do the same

Well at least now I know

That I can withstand being tortured if it ever comes to that. I just finished watching Must Love Dogs. All the way through. Without shutting it off. Ok, I did get up at one point to take the DVD out of the player, but every man screams when they attach the jumper cables to his testicles. Unfortunately there is no timer on my piece of shit RCA DVD player because I wanted to see how far I made it through the movie. But as I was standing there about to eject the disk the movies one and only almost sex seen occurred and then Diane Lane was naked in the shower, and then there was a funny part, and then I was tired of standing so I sat back down on the couch, chich turned into laying on the couch, which turned into to me watching the end of the movie. Oh, my god that was a painful experience. Has there ever been more cheesy music in a movie. Or a more predictable plot. I know it was a chick flick and it is supposed to have a happy ending but come on already.

Speaking of chick flicks, I swear some woman broke in to my house got on my netflix account and ordered all these chick flicks. Four of the last five movies I have received were chick flicks. They are Must Love Dogs, The Notebook, The Holiday, and The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That last one I would have ordered even if I hadn't turned into a chick at 2 in the morning and went hog wild on chick flicks. And technically it is a romantic comedy but it is the quirky kind of comedy I like. It really is worth watching. And thankfully Jim Carrey is not his normal slapstick annoying self.

Speaking of breaking into my apartment, about once every two weeks for the last two months I have found a window in my apartment open about an inch. Just enough to run my gas bills through the roof. And it is never the same window. Today it was my office window and almost nobody goes in there. It's quite dangerous actually. The stacks of papers and books have gotten so large they are starting to connect. I believe they are conspiring against me. Maybe they are opening the windows. Or maybe it is because I recently told a friend that although I believe in the possibility of ghosts I do not believe they can physically move things in our world.

Speaking of ghosts I was flipping channels the other day and seeing as I don't have cable that doesn't take very long. And I came across ghostbusters on the Spanish channel. They apparently love Bill Murray on the Spanish channel because I am always seeing one of his movies. Anyway it was the seen where Bill Murray shows up and Sigourney Weaver is already possessed. It is quite funny even in Spanish.

And speaking of aging comics, Billy Crystal played for the Yankees. The actual Yankees. But only for one day. Actually only one at bat. In spring training. But still it must have been pretty exciting. I hope it doesn't spawn a whole slew of entertainers trying to do the same thing.

And while I was at home on a Friday watching bad movies, The Matador was out picking up women. With my pick-up lines no less. It seems that Matador's luck at picking up women is the same as his luck at roulette in that it is inversely proportionate to my proximity of him. I'm like that guy in A Bronx Tale, not only do I have bad luck I am bad luck for those around me. How's that for a talent.

Well tomorrow should be a better day, and hopefully Matador's internet is down because we plan on going out tomorrow, that is unless he reads this and wises up.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Written yesterday

I have been spectacularly cursed with the inability to focus. I have always been a little ADD but even then I would bounce around from things that interested me to things that interested me. And when I found something that REALLY interested me I would become so focused upon it that everything else would disappear. And if you wanted my attention you would have to yell my name or otherwise work hard to break my self imposed trance. But now there is no focus. I just spent the last hour wandering around a bookstore walking up and down multiple aisles multiple times. Normally I would walk around until I found a book I liked and read it until I was convinced I wanted it or it was time to go. Today I picked up multiple books all of them interesting but I couldn't read more than a couple of paragraphs before realizing I was no longer reading all the words.

I need someone to present me with a path and force me to take it. I am too old to join the army. And joining a cult because I don't tolerate bullshit very well. I want to start my own company, but the lack of start up funds is daunting and depressing.

Speaking of depressing, does anyone know who they are going to vote for for president? Hillary is the anti-christ and the only thing her winning will accomplish will be forcing me to move to Spain sooner. Obama seems promising, is energetic, and has the best marketing campaign, but does anyone know what he stands for? I think McCain knows what he is doing and can do a decent job if the democrats in congress don't impede him and he doesn't die in office. Everyone comes out of that office looking 20 years older and he is already 71. And who the fuck is going to be his running mate?

Huckabee? Sure he has the religious right in his corner but he's crazy. If McCain dies and leaves him in office he will make Bush look like a liberal.

Guliani? He is almost as old. Good guy but won't help the ticket. They could both die and leave the speaker of the house in charge.

Do you know another prominent republican?

Hey I'm looking for a career change! I won't help the vote much but I have health care experience. I am too honest for my own good. I am diplomatic. Love to travel, and love learning other languages. I probably wouldn't be bad at giving speeches either. May wanna keep me away from the press though given my history of exploding. (see yesterday's post) that's OK though because I know just the guy for press secretary.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

WTF was that

Okay, so I had a nuclear meltdown at work today. It was way more unpleasant than I would have wanted it to be, but if you could control it it wouldn't be a meltdown. It was much worse than Matador's brief psychotic break last week. The head PA (physician assistant and I were going over my time sheet for last pay period because I accidentally singed in for the wrong shift on two days. I signed in as I worked nights when I had worked days. Then there was a discrepancy where I signed in two hours late but it turns out it was because I had worked the night before so it was approved. Then we get to the last two days of the month where I had come in an hour early one day because I had misread the schedule, and I was there and it was busy and I asked the doc if he wanted me to start early and he said yes. Then the next day I knew I wasn't scheduled at 8 but I showed up at 8 anyway because it worked out well the night before and I need the hours. Sure enough, when I got there it was busy and I helped clean out all the non-sense that was waiting for 2 hours.

Well it turns out they don't want to pay me for it. For hours worked. Hours where I was productive and made things run more smoothly. they bitch at me for being late so I am early and now I am penalized for it. Fuck that. I started to get mad and then this asshat with a title asks me what is wrong. BIG MISTAKE! There was yelling and screaming, and some damage done. Almost quit. Almost got fired. It is just the biggest bullshit ever. They have so many docs in that group now getting paid 3 times what I do for doing half the work, which increases my work load. Do I complain? Not really. I complain about how it effects the other docs in the group but I keep working hard. So what happens? I get shit on.

I am going to have to look into primal scream therapy. So I don't scream at work.


Sunday, March 02, 2008

LOST Spoilers, Beware

Yesterday I watched the 2 most recent episodes of LOST. I wish I could tout this as a review, but it is pretty much what everyone else has. Questions.


Locke is a relatively smart man why can he not keep his cool? Miles is a cool character but he's a greedy SOB ain't he? Why 3.2 million dollars? I expect a interesting answer to that one. Why is the professor dude losing his memory? They explain it a little in the next episode but this is different from the side effects that Desmond gets. I don't think Kate would have gotten off this easy, but the real question of course is Where is Claire and how did Kate end up with the baby? Even more importantly why won't Jack go see Aaron? My theory here is that Jack is somehow responsible for Claire being either killed or left behind. Monkey disagrees with this, but I can't see any other reason than Jack's guilt for his actions. Monkey thinks it is because Kate is lying and saying it is her baby but Jack had no problem lying on the stand.

The Constant

I hate time travel in movies/TV etc. This is because it can never be reconciled. They always do something in the past that they cannot account for in the future or present. There are dozens of movies like this, unfortunately the only one I can think of at the moment is The Lake House. How much of a mess is that movie? The only reasons I ended up seeing that movie was that I knew absolutely nothing of the plot and I have had a crush on Ms. Bullock for at least a decade.

That being said The Constant is one of the best episodes this season. Yes they fucked up the time thing because professor would have remembered Desmond. And all of a sudden writing shows up in his note book. Other than that great episode. Fills in a little more info on both Desmond and the professor. And now that Desmond has made contact with Penny he should be in full-on kick ass get back to the world mode. And this episode further cements Sayid as my favorite crash victim. He is probable tied with Desmond for favorite character. I don't understand why he traded his gun for the phone though. I guess he figures the few shots he has won't kill everybody and if they did how would he steer the damn ship.

Top Ten Favorite Movies

I was inspired by this and by Wil Wheaton and his post about movies he has recently seen.

It was hard to come up with just ten movies. Even ignoring tons of movies I love I still managed to have a list of 16 movies. So here are the first ten I wrote down on the list.

1. Aliens- The first Sci-Fi movie that really kicked my ass. At least since seeing Star Wars at age 7.

2. Goodfellas- By far the best mob movie of all time. And I love me a mob movie.

3. A Bronx Tale- Speaking of which, this is the only mob movie I have watched more than Goodfellas. And the only mob movie starring Robert DeNiro where he does not play a mobster.

4. For the Love of the Game- Some how The Natural doesn't do it for me the way this movie does. And yes it's part chick flick but there is way more than enough baseball in there to get a guy's testosterone up.

5. Fight Club- Speaking of testosterone. I just watched this movie again last week and during the first half I just kept saying to myself "Oh My God, I forgot what a great movie this is!" Yes I was drunk at the time but it's still a great movie.

6. Breakfast Club- I was 15 when I saw this movie and I had never identified with characters more.

7. Crash- As soon as this movie was over I went back the main menu and pushed play.

8. The Commitments- I will admit that it didn't move me as much the second time I saw it but still worthy of the list.

9. Full Metal Jacket- Platoon, may or may not be a better movie, but definitely not more quotable.

10. Hook- Because I am a guy and all guys secretly want to be Peter Pan.

Now if my friend's read this list the first thing they would want to know is, "Where the fuck is Ocean's Eleven?" Because it technically is still my favorite movie. And is, by far, the movie I have quoted most often in the last 7 years. But as I said I just was going to list the first 10 I wrote down on paper.

But now that we are here the other six are:

Run Lola Run- The best rarely seen movie

Remember the Titans- Yes I'm a softie. I guess I should list The Miracle here also.

The Shawshank Redemption- Not only one of my favorite movies but also one of the best movies of all time.

Stand By Me- Because we never have better friends than the friends we had when we were twelve.

The Patriot- You thought an epic Mel Gibson movie wasn't going to make the list? This one barely edged out Braveheart.

Feel free to leave me your list in the comments.