Monday, March 30, 2009

Someone please remind me to stop drinking.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I hear the train a comin'

And it is going to run over somebody's heart. Stay tuned as David once again crushes a woman heart because he is to stupid to avoid women who throw physical affection his way yet radiate crazy the way the Sun radiates heat and light.

I never promise any thing and I try harder and harder each time to tell them that there is no future or hope for a relationship, and each time they say they understand and then they get naked.

And eventually it all gets ugly and I feel like the asshole.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I'm glad I'm not in Kansas

The wind just blew so hard my entire building shook. I live in a brick 2 flat.

If I wake up in Oz, I am not going to work tomorrow.

I can't imagine what the skyscrapers are like. They are bigger but also higher up. I wonder if you can ever feel the wind in them.

yesterday and today


Boundary was empty. Went home. Fell asleep around 3am.


Woke up at 7:30am. And again at 9am. Went to see an apt that was both the nicest and most expensive so far. Go figure. Further north than I am now but on top of the expressway. Literally. Couldn't here the traffic from the inside though. That was good.

Fucked around on the Internet until 11:30-noon and then slept until 3p.

Went to see Monkey. $70 for sushi for 2 of us. Would have been happier if it was better and I wasn't hungry again 2 hours later. But I guess I am always hungry 2 hours later. Went to Borders. Bought the book Charlie Wilson's War, wish it had the original cover and not the movie cover. I only read a few pages but it looks like it is going to be even better than the movie, and I loved the movie.

Then took Monkey to her school to see her friend M&M sing for fine arts week. Monkey has a better voice than her friend. When I asked monkey why she didn't sign up she said it was because she was stupid. At least she knew she made a mistake. She also said she wouldn't know what song to sing. She walks around singing constantly. She kills me.

Speaking of killing me she didn't turn in two more Physics homework assignments. Arrgh.

Speaking of being hungry I stopped at Wendy's for food. At least I got the chicken sandwich. But I did get fries. And a diet coke which is probably why I am full of energy right now. Somebody remind me that I have to be at work in the morning.

I am going to finish reading the Washington Biography that I am almost done with so I can read Charlie Wilson's War.

Speaking of reminding. I have to finish Fear and loathing in Las Vegas that I started over a week ago but haven't picked up since. Not out of lack of desire but lack of time and in an effort to read only one book at a time, good luck with that, I wanted to finish His Excellency first.

So my pocket just posted

Half a post anyway. So what Ias trying to say is that after apologizing profusely and promising to come back I walked out of the bar and put my hands into my coat pockets and realized that not only had I gone out without my wallet but my keys as well. Dumbass.

At that is a contingency that I had prepared for and there is an extra set hidden on the back porch. So I am in the house now and am tired so I don't want to go back. But I am honest and like the spicy chicken sammich so I will go pay my bill and decide if I wanna go to boundry or go to bed.

Luck of the Irish

So I am walkng from small bar but not to bundry but home. Why home? Because my pstupid ass left my wallet at home. So

So I blame it on the sammich

I was hungry as usual so I went Smallbar for thieir spicy chicken sandwich which is quite noteworthy. But you can't have a sammich without a drink. I started out with a beer. I figure I can't get in much trouble with beer. I had a Three Fourths Pride and Joy. Hoppy, so they tell me, but I liked it. Went well with the sammich and tots. Yes, tots. But after the first beer I couldn't figure out what I wanted next. The bearded bartender graciously gave samples of a few different beers, but nothing grabbed me so I had to go with the bottle of soco that was calling my name since I walked in the door. And his credit the beard knows how a rocks pour should be poured. So I will finish my drink then wander down to Boundry for hopefully 1 or 2 drinks and then go home and get some sleep before I have to get up at 8am.

Stay out of jail.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

a LOST thought

If you have not seen any of the last three lost episodes stop reading.

Oh wait I think I just answered my own question. I was going to ask if anyone thinks that It was sawyer and company who open the gates for the purge but I am guessing they will be gone by then because ben is at least twenty when that happens, and he only looks about twelve or thirteen.

Carry on.

Friday, March 20, 2009

In a nutshell

Woke up in the Matador's recliner this morning because he had somehow convinced me to me him in Joliet. The somehow was that he was with the Caveman and Danger. I haven't see the Caveman in forever and Danger is a hoot to hang out with.

For example, a bit of Danger wisdom:

Build a man a fire and keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.

I met them in a dive bar that had only 5 women in it plus the two that worked there and that quickly dwindled to down to one plus the waitresses. Matador and Caveman had been drinking since 4p and I met them at 9p so they were already on the slippery slope. Matador apparently slipping a little faster than the rest. Danger met them at seven but seemed to have gotten several under his belt by the time I arrived. There is also a possiblity that he had a few in him before he arrived.

At about the time I left Monkey's house, another reason I was willing to drive to the joylet is that I was already halfway there, I received a text from Hot Bartender who was working at Le Passage, which is a club downtown, stating the drink specials and that she can get me on the guest list. AND.....and that there was a group of 200 med students RSVP'd for 10pm. I passed that on to matador who still wouldn't come into the city. It wasn't until I was in said first dive bar of the evening that I realized the true meaning of HotBartender's message. MATCH DAY! MATCH DAY! It was fucking matchday! Match day is the day when all the medical students all around the country find out where they are going to do their residencies. It is a complicated process that culminates in this one day. The day when they find out if they are going to do their residency at the hospital they wanted, or at somewhere shitty, or if they did not match at all and they will have to scramble like mad to find somewhere or have to learn to say "would you like fries with that". All on the same day. Which means that Le Passage was filled with at least 75-100 women who were either really really happy or really really sad, and on their way to becoming really really drunk. Which means easy targets, er, um... I mean good conversation and celebratory sex or consolation sex. Either way I could have been that guy.

But no, I was stuck in a bar with 20 dudes and no scenery. I wonder if Matador's arm hurts today because every time I said Match Day, I punched him in the shoulder. He probably doesn't remember the conversation or the punches. Oops just outed my self.

I did however get to watch the debacle that was the Illinois-Western Kentucky game. Without sound. About two thirds of the way through the game Matador called it a day and went home to sleep. He told us to call him in an hour and he would be up and ready to go again. I know better. I actually think he convinced him self he would be able to get up. I have seen this theory in action more than once and it doesn't work.

The second stop on our dive bar tour and only had two women in it plus the bartender. But this was still a small step up because the bartender, who I know, knows how to pour a real drink. And one of the two other women in the bartender was J a hot bartender that works there. Didn't talk to her because the other 20 neanderthals in the place were in line to talk to her. And well, she really has nothing to say. But is nice to look at. We managed two drinks in that place and then Danger called it a night and Caveman and I moved on to dive bar #3.

It was karaoke night at Dive Bar #3. Oh, joy of joys. But it was apparently ugly people with good voices night so I didn't have the urge to poke my eyes out. And the bartender, who seemed like the kind of guy who always knew how many steps it would take him to get to the shotgun no matter where he was behind the bar, knew how to pour a strong drink. I drink SoCo on the rocks so to me a strong drink is a full glass, and they had decent sized glasses. I few dorks with average but not horrible voices sang a few songs but they were country songs and apparently my mind has developed the ability to tune out country automatically so it was basically a couple of goof balls at the back of the room moving there lips. Again, suprisingly no urge to remove my eyeballs. We lasted two drinks at that place.

Dive bar #4 had some scenery but it was all 21 year old scenery. I think we made it through one drink before we decided to call it a day. We were planning on playing scrabble at Matador's place but when we got there he was on the couch. He woke up when we came in and went to bed. He told us that Abs was sleeping and had to be at work at seven. Which implied that if we were loud while we played scrabble, and we always are, she would kill us in an unpleasant manner.

So I went out to my car to get The Dark Knight DVD, because I have only seen it 3 times and watching a 3 hour movie at 2am seemed like a good idea. Unfortunately or fortunately as the case may be, the sound on the TV would not work with the DVD player. Why I do not know. I have never had a problem before. The only thing that is new is that Aborama's boyfriend, Kentucky, has hooked up his playstation and I don't know if that was causing the problem. I just realized now that I could have played the DVD in the playstation but that thought had not occurred to me at 2am.

So I slept. I woke up at 9 am and woke up the Caveman reminding him he was supposed to be at a wake at 9am. He said he knew and went back to sleep. I was supposed to meet Dr. Magjahooha at BW3 at 11am but instead of taking a shower my tired as crawled up stairs to get some more comfortable sleep in Abs' bed. Sorry Abs.

OK, I thought tis post was gonna be a nutshell because I didn't think I had the energy to type it all out so I was going to make it bullet points. Turns out I was right. I have run out of steam so you will get the condensed version of the rest of my day.

Made it to b-dubs at noon. Magjahooha was not drinking or eating meat. Because even though he now attends a non-denominational christian church he cannot let go of his Catholic up bringing.

His brother who looks like Robin Williams and his cousin and two uncles were there. I had 4 drinks and a shot. One of the uncles is going to be a grandpa. They were there for March Madness but only watched one game and then left. Food was good and the waitress was hot but only 20 years old.

I then drove home in shitty traffic.

Paid my rent.

Saw the downstairs apartment because my landlord wants me to move down there and although they are fixing it up and it will look nice the bedrooms are really small and the bigger bedroom is fucked up because the door is in the middle of the room so my king size bed wont fit. And the 2nd bedroom is so small it won't fit anything bigger than twin bed.


So now I have to move.

Good news is I found a bunch of apt's for under $1000 but the coolest sounding one in the best location had no phone number in the ad so I drove to the address and as far as I can tell it doesn't exist. I will have to try again in the daylight. Hopefully I just wrote the address down wrong.

I took a nap. Prior to that I talked to Hot Latina, who said she might meet me out but didn't. But we have a date for next friday. It is a friend's sweet 16 party. It should be fun.

I actually cooked dinner.

I watched Lost. It was Gooooooooooood!

I got a text from Monkey after midnight. I told her to go to bed. She laughed. Nice.

I wrote this crap. Now I am going to watch a movie even though I have to be up in 8 hours to go to work.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Well fuck it all to hell

Well guess what folks? I burned the CD correctly but I had the old laptop on while I was doing all this copying and although I had the fucking thing plugged in it wasn't taking a charge and now it is dead and I want to throw it across the room. I am going to leave before I do that.

Sacre Bleu

OK, so I found out the problem. The Toshiba copy utility just copied the file instead of burning an image. I knew I needed to do this, but I thought the utility was smart enough to figure it out. I was wrong. So now I am burning the image file. Hopefully correctly. This apparently take way longer than just copying. So I think I will go look at blogs or porn or something. Wish me luck.

Cue mission impossible theme

I am currently downloading software that is supposed to crack windows passwords because I have this old laptop that I have not used in 3-4 years because I broke the damn screen. I tried to hook it up to an old monitor in the past but the laptop had stopped taking a charge. Now I have it charged and hooked up to a monitor but guess who can't remember what the f'ing password is. So much for changing your passwords frequently. I certainly don't change them frequently but i used to change them every couple of months and now I change them every couple of years. Either way I am I still 5-6 generations of passwords from when I put one on that laptop so who the fuck knows what it is. Ooooh, the software finished downloading! Now I have to copy it to a CD. Be right back. Screw abbreviations, we are not that busy.

OK, so it's burning. I am curious to see what I have on the old laptop. I may not have too many pics because I don't think I had a digital camera back then. I do know that I was keeping a journal, even prior to me starting a blog, so I hope I have some good stuff on there. Although some of the real old stuff would be on my even older laptop, which was unfortunately stolen.

Ooh, ooh, shit is happening on the laptop. I restarted it with Ophcrack in the CD drive so let's see what we shall see. Moment of truth here people windows restarted.....mmmmm, I have the enter password screen and it won't let me in. I think I just failed my first test as a spy. Check back later for updates. I am going to devote all my attention to this problem.

Monday, March 09, 2009

I can't do it

I just can't I sat down with the full intention of writing Look Ma No Hangover Part 2 but I don't have the energy or desire. I am too tired, too apathetic, to BLAH to write that post. Apparently just typing out what ever drivel comes to my head is much easier than remembering, organizing, and telling a story of events that occured two weeks ago. Has it been that long.

Speaking of long it has been way over a year since I purchased Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I have yet to read it but was reminded of it's importance as a life guide by Alat

Which reminds me that I received yet another invitation to go to Vegas today. From Brother, who has received an invite from the Monte Carlo for 3 free days at the end of April. Who also informs me that he has a free companion flight that he is willing to blow on me. So this time free airfare and hotel. Now I just have to sell Matador's car to pay for my drinking and gambling.

Speaking of gambling, I lost a dollar at work making a stupid bet. And a co-worker won $10,000 at the boat playing video poker the other day.

Speaking of drinking, I'm not. My financial situation warrants a complete stopage of my free wheeling eight dollar a drink who wants shots days. So I am semi-retired. I was already planning to sit out St. Patrick's Day, blasphemy I know. And now I may pass on an opportunity to sit in a Buffalo Wild Wings for six hours or more drinking and watch March Madness with 4 or 5 other guys.

So plans to take over the world have slowed but have not stopped. The world will be mine I tell you, MINE!!

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Society as a whole is doomed

How much are people willing to torture and ruin their children for their own amusement?

And you wonder why I hate people?

When I view this in Blogger preview mode it works fine but when I view it on my blog it doesn't seem to load. If you are having the same problem, here is a link to the video of a 2 year old smoking a cigarette.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Update. Or David goes drinking all week and all you get is this lousy update.

Last week or so, pretty fun but been tired and working. Seriously have a week's worth of good posts rolling around in my head but all I have time for is a status update.

Matador is in Vegas. Bastard. Horse Cock is with him. Double Bastard. They are going to see a Cubs-Sox exhibition game tonight. Double triple super bastards.

I however get to go see Chicago the musical so I am not totally bummed. Just jealous. Almost as exciting as the musical will be dinner. At Corosh. Haven't eaten there in years but my two experiences there were very good. Used to know the manager. Met him out drinking one night. Now I don't even remember his name. I do however remember that the food was fantastic. And I just found out that there kitchen is open late. I just might have to start frequenting this place again.

Anyway, night folks got to run. I have to wake up the naked lady in my bed, get dressed, and find my money clip.