Monday, August 24, 2009
Things really aren't that bad, there are women who like me and want to spend more time with me but I don't pursue them the way I should and don't know why.
What I do know is that I'm angry all the time. Angry at traffic, angry at traffic tickets, angry at people who say LOL out loud. If you are talking you are not laughing so shut the fuck up. Angry at people who want the government to buy their Motrin for them. Angry at the people who text due when they mean do. Angry at my ex-wife who is once again going on vacation with my daughter over Christmas break. Taking her to Italy. And apparently if they don't go during that time frame the trip doesn't happen and my daughter misses the opportunity to travel to one of the most beautiful and historic countries in the world on someone else's dime. So rather than be an asshole and say no I'm the asshole who has to spend Christmas with out the one person on this planet I do not hate.
Yes, I hate people. All people. My loathing of the human race has reached an all time high. I can't stand that as a society we have lost the knowledge of how to treat a fever without a trip to the ER. That every time your child hits it's head hard enough to leave a bump we have to irradiate his/her head in a CT scanner, just so we can sleep better. Yeah, you'll sleep better when your child is getting chemo for brain cancer or is developmentally delayed because you fried his/her damn brain.
And why can't we speak English? I may have to move to Oxford and sweep floors for a living just so I can here people speak the Queen's.
The abbreviations and shortcuts that we have created are destroying us. People wonder if we will end up making androids and machines that will take over the world. We already have. They are called cell phones, computers, DVD player's. When was the last time you read a damn book. When was the last time I finished a book. I have more unfinished books in my house than the average teenager, who throws down the assigned book after two chapters, if not two pages, in search of the Cliff notes or the DVD. Americans used to aspire to be better than the last generation, now we aspire to be lazier. How can I get more, oh yes we still want more, while doing less. Everybody looks for the shortcut. If you learned anything from childhood it should be that shortcuts only get you muddy shoes and ripped jeans.
The shame now is that our kids don't even play outside. They don't run through the neighbor's yard, or climb that tree they aren't supposed to, or play kick the can in the alley. They don't play. Only inside. Only on their computers. And only when they get bored with Facebook and Youtube.
Get your kids off the fucking couch.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Do you ever feel like your life is a Banana Splits Episode. I feel like that more and more. The one of those crazy faced guys chasing around other crazy face guys and it never really stops unless it's time to ride the slide.
I dislocated my shoulder yesterday. Falling down the stairs is the party line, and you aren't going to hear anything else unless you know the password. Told this story to a way cute lady I'm infatuated with. She knows the password but I'm waiting until she is close enough to whisper it in my ear.
So now I am in mild to moderate constant pain with the occasional sharp fuck you if I move the wrong way. But the worst part is I am strapped into this modern torture device called a shoulder immobilizer. I now have even more sympathy for my friend with quadriplegia, he can still walk but is weak in his left leg and has no use of his left arm. Or maybe it's his right arm. It escapes me at the moment. Anyway loss of the use of your dominant hand his a huge pain in the arse. And so is doing anything you normally do on a regular basis. Like put on a shirt, or pull up your pants. Brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand is odd, wiping your ass with your non-dominant hand is downright surreal.
I'm going to miss 2 possibly 3 days of work because of this nonsense. That is a significant amount of money to lose, especially when due to recent extra expenses I am pretty much running on fumes as far as money goes.
I want a woman who is both sexy and smart. Who doesn't write due when she means do. who doesn't abbreviate and use aolspeak everytime she texts. Who gets it when I make an obscure reference or use a word they did teach you in grade school. But who can still wear sexy dresses and high heals and can pull off those sexy short shorts when the moment calls for it. I am sure there is a hot 25-35 yo woman out there with an IQ over 110 with ambition and drive and a wry sense of humor who is looking for a slowly balding cough *almost forty* guy with a gut who wields sarcasm the way Harrison Ford wields a whip, who is not afraid to grab the bull by the horns even if it means ending up in a shoulder immobilizer.
I'm starving and because the two women I am almost dating just got back into town and are taking care of their families instead of taking care of me I think I will go find food and solace with my friendly neighborhood bartender.
Go say hi to tony, because he is still the best writer out there. And say congrats to Sass on her new job.