Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Can't they ever get it right?

I have been pissed about something for a long time, something that Whatsername got pissed off about on June 8th.

That thing is that CNN has links all over place for video that usually seems like something you would wnat to look at, until you click on it and find out you have to sign up for their pay service to get video. Bastards. That was until now.

CNN now offers free video, apparently for all or almost all of their stories. Did they give up their money hungry ways and realize that we deserve to receive the news without having to pay through our nose? Nope. In order to watch a video clip for there news story you have to sit through 5-10 seconds of a commercial. And each one I have seen is a commercial with a song in the background usually a song that makes you cry because you used to like until it ended up in a commercial. I used to love Aerosmith's Dream On. Until I saw it in a car commercial. I barely watch TV. Ocasionally. Late at night. Or I watch DVDs. So I am usually spared from this travesty of sellouts, but now I will have to suffer on CNN's website, because I know that curiosty will get the best of me and make me click on the video links.

Now I do suppose I prefer the large corporations paying for my privilege of watching video on CNN's site but I am still pissed off about it. Mabye I should let this go, and start protesting against commercials in movie theaters. If they want commercials in movie theaters then they should make the movies free. I would get much more public support for this rant. Hopefully more on this later.

Good Night and Good Luck.

Friday, June 10, 2005


That Drunk Girl

She is my best friend, and has happened to have moved to Hawaii. And there’s nothin’ wrong with having a friend in Hawaii. It makes for a lot of cheap vacations. The only problem with her being in Hawaii is that she is in Hawaii. Which happens to be 5,000 miles away. Not as easy to go to an impromptu dinner and drinking fest.

Don’t give me a hard time about the nickname because it was self imposed. She uses it all the time, in sentences like “I couldn’t go talk to him he just thinks that I am that drunk girl” or “after a few drinks I am that drunk girl” “The bartender was nice to me but probably because he felt sorry for that drunk girl” But she is my drunk girl and I think I am going to keep her.

We met 7 years ago while she was a med student at the hospital where I worked. She came out with a group of us from the ER about a week after she had started her rotation and of course we were the last two out. For the next two months we were inseparable and drunk. I was working a part-time morning job at the time and was rarely on time and always hung over, but always willing to do it again. I can’t remember if it was that night or the second time we went out, but we ended up in a strip club because she said none of her male friends would take her. Which I found amazing because strippers love women. If you ever want attention in a strip club, bring a woman. Trust me. I bought her her first lap dance, and to the best of my knowledge her only lap dance.

She is a Californian which I try not to hold her against her. But it’s hard. When she was here she did nothing but bad mouth Chicago. Then she did her internship year in Richmond, Virginia. During which she could not wait to get back to Chicago, which is where she finished her residency.

Now that she is in Hawaii she has nothing good to say about Chicago except she is never coming back. We may convince her to come one summer for a Cubs game. We have her completely addicted to the Cubs. She even watches them in Hawaii when she can find them on TV.

It’s hard to put her or our friendship into words. She is the female version of me. It is rare that I find something funny that she does not and vice versa. There was one time that she was ranting about someone at work who continually tried to finish her sentences for her, at which point I apologized because I was “I, um, sorta do that too” to which she replied “oh, but that’s because we share a brain”. That pretty much sums us up.

She called tonight on her way back from a wine tasting at which she got pretty toasted. Just talking to her makes me smile. She has got to be the funniest person I know. Now that you know of That Dunk Girl you may be hearing of more TDG stories in the future.

My daughter is the only reason I am not currently living in Hawaii. If I could convince my ex-wife to let me take her with I would be gone in a heart beat. But they’ll be selling bibles in hell before that happens.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


Ok, so I was a little pissed off this morning, but there you go. I have looked on MLB.com and googled the play and so far there is no outcry. Which is good. Waiting and seeing.

Good Luck and Good Night.

Be a man

Last night while enjoying a cold beer with a friend in a local drinking establishment I saw something I didn’t quite like on TV. It was a baseball play they showed over and over. I don’t know or care about the names of the teams but a runner was coming into home and the catcher gets into his stance, catches the ball, and turns to block the runner,……….and gets nailed. Big time and he loses the ball. Then, then he lays there like a wounded Dennis Rodman until his team mates show up to help him walk back to the dugout. They showed both sides screaming after that. About what I don’t know because the sound was down. But the pussy catcher and his pussy teammates were probably bitching about how hard he was hit. Fuck that. That’s baseball. They have gone all no-tolerance on batters hit with pitches and now there is going to be a stink about this for sure. Fuck that. Sure he got jacked in the neck and face, but this is professional sports. Professional fucking sports for goodness sake. Get up and shake it off. The only reason he is bitching and claiming to be a wounded pussy is that he dropped the ball. If he would have held on, he would have jumped up and down like the hero he would have been. He could have been missing and arm and his nose and he would have worn it like a badge of honor. Instead he his crying because his opponent did exactly what he was supposed to do. He knocked the ball out of his hands. The catcher plants him self so the base is not even visible the only thing he can do is knock the fuck out of you. Some times you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug. Deal with it.

So we will see how it pans out. But if they try and call unnecessary roughness or some shit every time this happens I will be one pissed off Mother Fucker. I can tell you that.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Deep Throat

I realize I am posting this a few days late and it is almost in the we don't care about that anymore department. The question is did it ever make it in to the we care dept. I was born during the Nixon administration, and although I grew up hearing about Watergate and Deep Throat, I have neither read nor seen All the President's Men. I own a book Abuse of Power that is a transcription of the Nixon tapes, but it lies mostly unread. Mainly because 90% of it is boring as hell.

There are a few issues here. Nixon broke the law, lied about breaking the law, and tried to cover up that he broke the law, and he got nailed for it. As did many that worked for him. Mark Felt was the Assistant Director of the FBI. Of the FBI. I had to repeat that in case someone didn't notice. We could argue for hours whether or not a major law enforcement official should ever leak information to the press. Instead we will talk about this particular incident. Motivation is what I am interested in. Did Mark Felt leak this information to Woodward and Bernstein (W&B) because he was aware of serious crimes and was being allowed to prosecute the offenders? Did Mark Felt inform W&B of these crimes because Nixon was at odds with the FBI and trying to limit his independence? Or did Mark Felt turn his back on the Office of the President of the United States because he was passed up for the job of Director of the FBI? Does it make a difference? Absolutely.

Did W&B keep Deep Throat's identity secret because they thought it would make their story more interesting and their book more exciting? Or did they keep his identity secret because they made a promise and wanted to keep their journalistic integrity? Does it make a difference? Oh, yeah! I believe it was the later, because I believe that they are true journalists and not hollywood wannabes. I believe they were out to persue the truth and make this information available to the American public.

Speaking of motivation and integrity, what the fuck is up with Felt's family? Mark Felt is 91 years old and in questionable health. Would it have killed them to wait a couple of years to spit this out. It has been kept secret for over 30 years, you couldn't keep your yap shut for just a couple more. And what the fuck was Mark Felt thinking. He lied to the press, the government, and the American public and then he blurts it out to his fucking family? Only those close to you can betray you. It is the nature of betrayal. If you are going to keep a secret, keep a secret dammit. Back to motivation. A member of his family is quoted in Vanity Fair as saying they do hope the revelation will "make at least enough money to pay some bills". Fuck me people. I hope someone is paying attention, especially someone from the Felt family. If they would have let him die then let W&B break the story, everybody and their grandmother would be trying to get them on TV to talk about his secrets and involvement in the scandal. As is, I hope no one asks them a fucking thing. Not once, not ever. And I certainly hope no one pays them to do it. And Vanity Fair. Vanity Fair. Now there's a bastion of journalism for you. At least Mark Felt had the sense and class to go with a newspaper that actually prints News. Now I may buy a W&B book on the subject, but I hope not to ever line the pockets of the Felt family.

I am not againt being opportunistic. I personally hope to make millions off this ratty ass blog, but I don't plan on pimping out anyone but my self. And maybe this guy.

Good Night and Good Luck.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Rules To Live By.........Or Not

Never argue with a man with a gun

Never tell a cop he can’t do something

Never volunteer

Never ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to

Never ask a question you don’t want to have to answer yourself

Survival is learning from your mistakes

Success is learning from the mistakes of others

It is better to be a responsible child than to be a responsible adult

There is no spoon


You can never have too many pairs of socks or underwear

Fear nothing

Remember everthing

Think before you speak or act

Wear sunscreen

P.S.- I may have stolen that last one.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

A shot of commonsense

I am not talking about the proverbial shot of commonsense. I am talking about a literal shot of commonsense. My life dream is to gather the best biochemists and geneticists of the world and lock them in a room until they can isolate the commonsense gene. (We all know it’s out there) Replicate it, formulate an injectable form and mass produce it. Distribution is another story. Chances are governments of the world will pay me not to distribute it. Who wants voters with commonsense, right? Either way I will be rich. Rich enough to buy my own island, then populate it with my friends, servants, some thirty odd beautiful women, all injected with commonsense. Every last one of them.

Anyway, enough of that pipe dream, until I can bring that dream to fruition I am going to provide you with a figurative shot of commonsense. Providing you with my version of that elusive get you through the day, keep you out of trouble, get things done, stop pissing people off substance known as commonsense. Pointing out flagrant stupidity where ever it shall rear its ugly head. This is by far not a complete manifesto, it may and probably will expand and narrow it’s focus on a semi-regular basis. As is necessary to stay one step of mentally challenged and the purveyors of manure it all its forms.

May the commonsense be with you.