Thursday, May 31, 2007

Last night rated Le-gen, on the Legendary scale. Real good time had by all. But I have been awake for 4 hours and all I have accomplished is getting my haircut, drinking 2 bottles of water, ate 1 1/2 pieces of Tuesday's pizza and bounced around blogland. So I will go do my laundry and take a shower and tehn try to post about last night before dinner.

PS- It is FUCKING RAINING out! Why must it only rain on my days off. I swear I have done something to piss God off.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

In the last 24 hours I have

Driven in Traffic
Spent an hour arguing with my daughter
Ate pizza
Ran 2.5 miles
Went Drinking with my brother
Watched and listened to his friends play guitar
Some of them cute
Drank beer
Yes, me, beer
Watched Brother get drunk
Talked to a crazy person
Drank SoCo with flat Coke
Talked to a drunk guy in a Sox hat. Imagine that
Insulted someone from Colorade
Listened to him rant for 20 minutes
Watched same jackalope leave the bar with the prettiest girl there
Actually got in a cab in went home intead of to Betty's
Locked my keys in my apartment
Slept on Philarican's couch
Was late getting to the hospital for my Dad's Angiogram
Found out Dad is ok
Found out that Shaft is coming out with me later!
Foti is coming out with me later
Put on my Cubs Jersey because my ass is going to the Cubs game with Matador and some stuck up chick he is GaGa over but doesn't like him back.

Monday, May 28, 2007

If I were honest

If the world were honest I could post a personal ad like this

104 year old man seeks mid to late 20’s female who isn’t married, spit out a kid, engaged, whoring around or involved in more than 3 non-exclusive relationships. Not living with her parents, her ex-boyfriend or my ex-girlfriend. Is not obsessed with being thin but understands that drinking and watching Smallville are not sports. (Okay, I might give you that drinking thing but only if done outside the house. Otherwise it is just practice.) And does not qualify you as being athletic. I want a woman who can beat me at basketball, it’s not that hard trust me. And can challenge me at Scrabble. Chess is an option. Intelligence is a must. I used to think college was an option but if you are not smart enough to know that you need to go to college, see previous sentence. Me: My hobbies are Movies, running, Cubs baseball ( the rest of the league can suck my ass. Okay maybe I’ll go to a BoSox game), reading, playing Scrabble, drinking, and assorted naked debauchery. I prefer my movies to be dramas, and my life to be silly slapstick comedy. Not the other way around. Anyone who thought Epic Movie was funny need not apply.

Prefered but not required are women who like any of the following: giving oral sex, receiving oral sex, anal sex, spanking, rough play, dirty talk, biting, mild BDSM, and sex outside. As frequently as possible.

If there are any women who like everything in the second paragraph, the first paragraph is negotiable.


Written on Sunday

Yesterday was a rough day. Friday I got loaded so I woke up on Saturday after only 3 hours of sleep with a pretty nasty hangover, which I was pretty upset by because I barely drank my average but I did it in a pretty short period of time. My hangover got progressively worse as the day went on and I continued to sober up. I didn't help that at 10:30am I was in a dentist’s office getting my teeth probed and x-rayed. I can handle torture but I prefer not to be hung over while it happens. After that I picked up monkey who had spent the previous night at a friend's house and then went to the mall. Because she is a 14 yo girl and it is required. I meet her at the mall and then eat at a place called Claim Jumper that I do not recommend. I ordered the salmon which was slathered in BBQ sauce. Who drenches salmon in BBQ sauce. I was expecting a thin layer but nooooooo! You couldn't even see the damn fish. So after about 60 seconds of bitching and moaning I just scraped all that shit off the salmon. What I should have done was asked them not to put it on in the first place. If I was suffering from shrunken brain syndrome I probably would have.

I then got to go to my parent's house to do what? Move furniture. Yep exactly what everyone wants to do when they are hung over, move furniture. Luckily it was just a coffee table. The one my mom had in the living room had a drawer in it which they managed to break, so she wanted to throw it out and bring an old one from up stairs. While Brother and I was searching the menagerie hoping not to be bitten by a goblin or killed by a troll, my mom decides that the table we are looking for is too big and she will buy a smaller one. Not that my parents have any money what so ever because neither are working right now. Reprieve I think, but then she says that she still wants us to throw out the old one. Where are you going to put things, on the floor? asks Brother. Sure says Mom. So Brother pull what is left of the drawer breaking it in pieces in the process. We carry the rest of the table out side and while on the porch Brother says I just want to throw this thing off the porch. Mmmmmm I think. And ask what the possible consequences are. Brother says it could hit that car. I look again and still think that the car is too far away, but anything is possible especially with my brother. I personally am worried about ending up with a shard of wood sticking out of my forehead. I figure the possible trajectories and agree. On the count of three. One. Two. Three. And down it goes and hits the ground and folds like a house of cards. Like it was designed to collapse. Clunk. Clunk. Clunk and it is done. Loudly. We both look back at the window and Brother says, where's Monkey? So we run down the stairs and pick up the pieces of the table as fast as we can and look up and sure enough Monkey is standing at the screen door looking out at us and our shit-eating grins. We quickly go to the alley and throw everything out. At least we got to have some fun.

But after this I am dead tired. But I have no food in the house. So we shop and get back to the apt about 5pm. Now Monkey hasn't slept since the day before because no one ever sleeps at a sleep over, and I am tired and still a bit hung-over so I make a motion that we nap. We vote and motion carried. I set my alarm for 6pm. At 8-8:30 I get out of bed and attempt to get Monkey up. I wouldn't of bothered her but she hadn't eaten since noon. No go. She wakes up momentarily and says something barely comprehensible and falls back asleep. Her most coherent sentence was "I really have no idea what is going on” I tell her to get in PJs and go to sleep. She actually manages to make it to the bathroom to take out her contacts but then passes out again almost instantly after hitting the pillow. I am still starving so I go on-line to order food. I resist the urge to order my Pie pizza which is my favorite but not in line with my goal of having a Miami body by the time I go to Miami. So I order Chinese, which sounds normal unless you know me.

I do not like Chinese food. It is not that I dislike it. I just don't like it. I mean I am willing to eat it and I don't avoid it, but I never seek it out. You have never heard me say let’s get Chinese Food. Just doesn't happen.

Until last night. I ordered from Friendship Restaurant on Milwaukee Avenue. I was extremely hungry, not eating since 1pm. So that may account for some of my response to the food but very little I think. I loved it. This was the first time I ever ate Chinese Food and went Wow! First the portions were huge. The Sake Garlic Chicken had two full boneless grilled chicken breasts that were extremely tender and juicy. No over cooked Wok food here. I didn’t quite like the Sake Garlic Sauce but the chicken tasted great. I also ordered the Mongolion Beef that wasn’t quite the standard beef and scallions but I was fine with that. It had onions, peppers, and baby corn. Possible one or two more veggies but I can’t remember. What I can remember is that the sauce was spicy but not crazy hot. And it had ginger in it which I usually don’t like but it had just enough that I didn’t realize it was ginger until I was hallf way through. The prices were a little steep, $11.95 an entrĂ©e but there was enough food that it was still a decent value. I am so going to have to go back. I and with Brother who is a Chinese food fanatic. So I will go with him and explore this restaurant further, but I definitely recommend it. I can’t believe I am excited about Chinese food.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

HamNation: I Do Not Like To Hear Good News

A man walks into a bar

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence,' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me, and I'm celebrating.'

'This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!' says the woman.

'What a coincidence!' says the man.

As they clinked glasses, the farmer asked, 'What are you celebrating?'

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologists told me that I'm pregnant!'

'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile ?'

'I used a different cock,' he replied.

The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence."

Stolen from Memphis Steve

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Honest Blogger Quiz

I am posting this because tony asked me to.

1. which political party do you typically agree with? Republican

2. which political party do you typically vote for? Republican, when I vote

3. list the last six presidents that you voted for? H.W. Bush, wasn't old enough to vote for reagan. Have been unmotivated and uninspired since.

4. which party do you think is smarter about the economy? I think both parties have their own interests at heart and occasionally that benefits the general population. Sometimes it doesn't

5. which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? republicans

6. do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? pull them out, but how and when is a tricky situation

7. who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? osama bin laden, the saudis.

8. do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in iraq? no

9. yes or no, should the u.s. legalize marijuana? i'm torn but I lean toward no

10. do you think the republicans stole the last presidental election? Don't remember enough to give you an informed opinion and I am not taking the time to look it up.

11. do you think bill clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with monica lewinski? yes. In my personal life I heed the credo fo it is only against the rules if you get caught, but I do believe that people who take public office especially the presidency should be held to a higher standard.

12. do you think hillary clinton would make a good president? God, no.

13. name a current democrat who would make a great president: It is getting harder to find anyone in either party that would make a great president

14. name a current republican who would make a great president: see previous answer

15. do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? yes

16. what religion are you? Christian.

17. have you read the Bible all the way through? Old testament yes. New testament, maybe not all the smaller books

18. what's your favorite book? Too hard to answer. Animal Farm by George Orwell. The Godfather by Mario Puzo (infinitely better than the movie) Maybe others

19. who is your favorite band? Too hard to answer

20. who do you think you'll vote for president in the next election? don't know yet

21. do you think President Bush and Vice President Cheeney should be impeached? no

22. do you think it was a coincidence that gasoline prices have nearly tripled and oil company profits have hit record highs while there was a US President whose family made its fortune through oil? no i dont think there was a coincidence.

23. do you think President Bush is the worst US President ever? and if not, who is? worst? Probably not. Bad for America? Probably. Who was the worst. I can't say. We've had some crappy ones.

24. do you think Iraq is going through a civil war? yes

25. now with all that the US has gone through, do you think it would have been better for the nation that George Bush had never been elected president? If I could predict the future or alternate presents I wouldn't have to work for a living.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I hate me.

Today it was combination of ADD and just plain stupidity. I am sitting, typing into my phone, at an intermittent standstill on I55. Trying to go 4 miles. There is no reason for me to be here. I worked last night at the hospital and slept in the call room because I was dead tired and I wanted to avoid traffic. I find that funny now. I oversleep. I have vague recollection of shutting off the alarm at noon. I wake up at 5p. Fuck. I decide to eat at Outback which is 6-7 miles from the hospital. I figure I can hang out at the bookstore after that until it is time to go to work. There is street that would taken me in a straight line and put me less than mile from the restaurant. But I thought hey outback is closer to the expressway and r miles on the streets is 1w-20 min but 4 miles on the expressway is 4 in. Except in rush hour with construction you dumbass! I have been on the expressway for 45 minutes and have gone about 2 miles. If this keeps up I am going to be late for work and I have never left Joliet or my car for that matter. Signpost up ahead 1 1/4 miles to my exit. Only 20 min more.

I made it off I55 almost exactly 1 hour after I got on. It took me about 1 hour 15 min to go 6 or 7 miles a 20 min trip tops. I had a good steak at Outback and talked for about an hour to a crazy but cute drunk woman who had to tell me all about her pets.

And I made it to work on time.

So much for consolation prizes.

My first 2-3 hours at work sucked ass, but I have no desire to tell that story.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

What the hell

Didn't go out last night. Probably a good thing. Except for the fact that I was apparently abducted by aliens last night and had experiments conducted on my body all night. I was awakened by my doorbell being rung by the crazy polish plumbers, feeling like I had all my blood drained from my body, been run over by a steamroller, then my blood vessels re-infused with molasses then hit in the head and knocked out by a lead pipe.

What the hell?

And did I mention that I did NOT go out last night. If I am going to feel like shit I should at least have something to show for it. Like a hundred dollar bar tab or naked woman in my bed. A pineapple on the nightstand at least. That reminds me I need a night stand. Not that i have room for it. My bedroom is exactly 78 inches wide. My bed is 76 inches wide. Crazy, I know but once you have a king size bed you never want to give it up. Now I just need a mattress I like.

I like the sunshine. Maybe I should go out in it occasionally. If this run over by a truck feeling goes away I will probably go running with monkey later. Right now I should concentrate on taking a shower and eating some lunch.

Things accomplished today:

Finally made a fucking dentist appt.
Joined the National Scrabble Association- I know, I'm a dork. But I am dork who can beat you at Scrabble.

Monday, May 21, 2007

I hope this doesn't go south

The Caveman sent me a text a few hours ago and asked what I was doing I said nothing what's up. Don't know yet just getting started. I said let me know. I then went to dinner with my brother and the philarican. I had two margaritas. Only two. With my brother. That must be a record. I think that was the shortest, soberest and cheapest dinner we have ever been to together. I think partially because I was crazy hungover. Yes even at 8pm. My hangover didn't even start til about 4p. I think I was drunk until noon and had a positive alcohol level until at least 4.

Yes I was drinking shots last night. Lots of shots. All ordered by me. Multiple times. I don't know why I felt the need to pour that much alcohol into my system. I just couldn't get enough. Partially because I was at a dive bar I hate and Red was there. Never date anyone you work with. Whore.

Anyway. Caveman is on on the south side of Chicago and may come up north to drink with me. He says he is coming but he is liquored up so who knows. If and when he will show up is anybody's guess. But this guy can drink so it may be a bad night. The fact that he started a few hours ago makes it better or worse. He did give me a compliment by saying that if anyone can out drink him it is me. I don't if I should take that as a compliment. One of these days I will have to retire.

Contemplating showering. I will be pissed if I shower and get dressed and he doesn't show. I can't believe it is 11p already. I should be already buzzed or in bed. Both wouldn't have been bad.

Time to go.

There are 3 people in my apartment who speak little or no english.

2 of which are screaming at each other in polish in my bathroom. They are supposed to be remeding the fact that the hot water only trickles out of the shower, whereas the cold water shoots out with the force of a fire hose. Not making for a very nice showering experience. I must empty my bowels so I am going to find an alternative bathroom rather than go anywhere near the pipe wrench weilding polish man in my bathroom.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

I just keep telling myself it can always be worse

About a month ago I moved from the basement to the second floor of the same building because the DAMN PLACE FLOODED! So I needed a new bed. So I bought one. King Size. In a rush. I don't know why I do shit like that in a hurry. Anyway the sales lady talked me into a firm mattress. I have never had a firm mattress, and I hear it is supposed to be good for your back. And in the 10 seconds I spent on each mattress it seemed like the best one. She said this is my favorite I lay on it all the time. and in fact she was when I walked in. It sucks!

It is like sleeping on the floor. I got a padded mattress topper. No help. I worked a lot and drank a lot the week I got the bed so I couldn't go back right away to complain. I thought I only had seven days to exchange mattresses. I came across the recent 2 days ago and I have 30 days. Which ends tomorrow. I went back to the mattress place and spent a good 2-5 minutes on each mattress and found that I like plush but not pillow top. Although i did find one pillow top that I like. So I have it down to 2 mattresses. I ask what the difference is in price between these and the one I bought. The price is listed but I know that they are on sale, and when I bought my bed I got about $400 off the price. She pulls my old receipt and looks at the bed and tells me there is a $500 difference for one and $800 difference for the other. But aren't they on sale I say. Yes but comfort exchanges are at list price. But I bought mine on sale. I have been by here before everything is ALWAYS on sale. She starts spouting something about company policy and how she can't change policy. I start walking toward the door before I start spouting something like I don't give a shit. I bought a $1500 bed, it should cost me $500 to get a $1600 bed. Fuckers. And they will charge me a $100 delivery charge. Super Fuckers. But I really hate my current bed. And the other problem is I don't get paid until Monday or Tuesday at which point I will have exceeded my 30 days. And I have somehow recently depleted all my savings on what I am not sure.

Part of me thinks she talks people into buying the slightly cheaper crappy mattress so they will return it and have to pay full price on the other mattress that would have cost just about the same if they just bought it in the first place. Just to get a higher commission. Fuckers. I am pissed a little. Can you tell. And when this happened it was 5pm and I haven't eaten all day. Which those who know me that any time I go more than 4 hours without eating it is a bad thing.

So while driving home I pass this bar called Lottie's. It is on a side street and I would have never of found it except by accident. Which I did. I pull over and decide to eat hoping that will help decrease the steam coming out of my ears. I helps a little. Especially because I can eat outside and all the waitstaff are hot women. All the female patrons are hot women. My day is getting slightly better.

I am sipping my diet coke, because I work tonight, and am waiting for my food when a very hot woman walks out of the bar to the patio and sits down. She is wearing a tight top and no bra and I am not offended.

She sits fairly far away and I am content with quick glimpse I received, until I hear her laughing then I look over and recognize her. She is a friend of Philarican. I thought I had posted about this girl before but looking back i somehow did not. I will call her Miranda. I keep looking and am pretty sure I am right. About 15-20 min later she is leaving and has to walk past my table to do it and I call out her name and I am correct. She looks at me and has no idea who I am. We were never close or ever hung out away from the Philarican but we met anywhere from 6-10 times. I say my name and that I am Philarican's friend and the light goes on. She asks who I am and asks about my daughter. I show her pictures. She is amazed at how old she is. She introduces me to the boyfriend, who is a complete dork but apparently some genius physicist or something per the Philarican. His sister is kinda cute. We part ways.

So not only do I have to shell out tons more money for a decent mattress that should only cost me $100 -200 more, but I dissed by a hot woman that I actually know. I expect the ones I don't know to give me shit but I was just kind of put off that she didn't remember me.

Now I have to go to work. See I told you it could get worse.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Truth in advertising

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Stolen from It's Just a Blog

What is this world coming to?

I have been trying to write a post about the events of May 2 for a week and a half now. Mostly on my PDA. Those mini keyboards really do become a huge pain in the ass if you are typing more that a quick text message. I finally moved the file onto my computer and started working on it, in attempt to finally get it posted so I can start work on my post about May 9th which is legendary. Seriously. But the events of last night have suddenly become more interesting and much more funny.

Yesterday was Shaft's Co-Dependant Girlfriend's birthday. So he took her out to dinner and invited a bunch of friends. Including me. But of course my jackass shows up late but this time on purpose. I had been previously invited to a dinner lecture at the restaurant Tru. Look up Tru in Chicago. And if you have a recockulous amount of money to throw away, eat there. The food is Amazing. The service exceeds all expectations. And I got to eat there for free. I didn't even have to pay for Valet parking. I would go through the whole menu and experience but I really do want to make this a short post. Short for me anyway.

Fast forward to 9:45pm last night. I am leaving Tru and heading to Buona Terra for the birthday party and my second dinner of the night. I am approx. 7-8 drinks in to the evening. I find them in the restaurant and luckily CDGF is sitting with her back to me and I able to sneak up behind her and kiss her on the cheek and wish her Happy Birthday. Unfortunately my unprepared ass doesn't have a present or even a card with me.

There are approx 7 people at the table. Clockwise from the head, CDGF, a frat bro of Shaft's, his wife, Shaft, Monica , a hot polish girl at the other end of the table with a cute accent who came with, Horse Cock who is a friend of David's who I have met a couple of times, another Frat bro, A girl who came with, yet another frat bro. I have met these guys once or twice but never remember their names.

I end up sitting between Shaft and Polish Girl. Sweet. I order. Everyone else has ordered but has not received their food. I order a drink. Imagine that. The food comes shortly followed by mine. I am impressed by the speed. And the salmon wasn't bad either. Would definitely go back. Shaft and CDGF come here all the time.

I will have to diverge from the story a little bit to explain Horse Cock. No I have never seen it. HC is a friend of Shaft's and Rico's from high school or possibly shortly after that. He is not butt ugly but he is not really an attractive guy kind of greasy and according to the boys treats women like shit but gets some of the hottest women. Which they could never understand. So they surmised that he must have a cock like a horse. And the name stuck. I don't think HC himself even knows the exeistence of the name but because I like to protect the anonymity of the idiots in blog, Horse Cock it is.

HC, Shaft and I are talking about Miami, other stories and other comments that probably shouldn't be said in mixed company. And we are having a blast. Every 60 seconds or so our end of the table erupts in laughter. CDGF says what kind of party is going on at that end. We are just toasting to you and how beautiful you are. She smiles. She knows bullshit when she hears it. A few minutes later we erupt in laughter again and she says are you having your own party down there? Can I join? I say absolutely come and sit on my lap. She says Really? Just what I wanted for my birthday. WE finish eating have a couple more drinks, birthday cake and another drink. And I ask my ever present question. Adonde proximo? Where next?

Where next is Clybar. Cool place. Relatively empty. Two girls sitting further down the bar. I have too many drinks in me to sound intelligent to strangers so I don't even try. Instead, I order more drinks. Including shots. We all then telling stories. Mine apparently all too long for CDGF who frequently tells me to stay on track and finish the damn story. Which I eventually do. Shaft tells a couple of stories. Horse cock tells a few stories. If there was anyone left in the bar they would have though we were either crazy or hilarious. Or both. We were loud and laughing continuously. Horse cock told a couple of stories about Shaft then told us that he is dating a 21 year old girl whose birthday was the day before and he gave her a Movado watch. To which she says Oh thank you and he gets a little kiss on the cheek. For a Movado watch! Later she is on the phone with her friend and says yeah he gave me a watch. Horse Cock says "I am returning that. How can you not appreciate that. For some people that is there dream watch." Hell when I was 21 that WAS my dream watch. I got one from the Ex as a wedding present. I still have it.

For those of you who don't care about watches HC probably dropped about $600-$1000 on that watch.

Back to the story. The whole time we are telling stories Polish Girl is sitting there smiling politely. I got the impression as the night wore on that her English vocabulary is not as broad as I initially assumed. Btu every time he turns to talk to her she seems happy and is content to sit there and listen and smile. At one point I was going to go over and talk to her to keep her involved but who am I to cock block. Even though this is a first date and as Horse Cock was walking into the restaurant Shaft saw Horse Cock lean over and say what is your name again? Classic.

So we eventually leave. HC with his girl in his Porsche. 911. Carrera. Convertible. I tell him he is a cock for owning my dream car, and he tells me I can borrow it when he is out of town. I love him.

I go to Betty's to see Z, a bartender I have a crush on who recently broke up with her boyfriend and got back together with him. She pours me a drink and proceeds to tell this long drama filled story. I loose my desire to stay, and leave 2/3 of my drink on the bar. You know you are drunk when you are willing to leave a man behind.

I get home. I wake up today with my alarm at 8am for the love of god Why. It takes me 1/2 hour to get the strength to get up and shut it off. I mainly get up because I need water. Lots of water. I get up pull a bottle of water out of the fridge adn walk towards the living room and my suit from the night before is strew around the apartment. Pants in the living room. Shirt in the middle of the dining room and the jacket in the far corner. On the floor. In my defense it looks like I may hay tried to lay it on another object before it hit the floor. You know you had to much drink when your clothes from last night are thrown everywhere and you weren't trying to get them off to have sex. I can understand the line of clothes from the front door to the bedroom. But all over willy nilly. That is kind of funny but I would have been happier if there were female clothes accompany them.

Anyway I call call Horse Cock today because he may have Cubs Sox tickets for tomorrow. He calls back. He says do you remember that girl from last night? I say yeah. He then tells me the punch line. I will make you sit through the whole story. He drive her back to his building where her car is. Her car is in his parking space in the building because there is no good street parking. They get back and he asks her to move her car. She apparently wanted to stay with this jerk who ignored her all night and spent half the night talking about other women because she says "are you kicking me out?" "I am not kicking you out but you can't stay." "I am tired, I'm drunk, I don't feel good and I have to work in the morning." They get out of the car she is standing on the passenger side and looks him right in the eye, takes her key and runs it down the entire passenger side. From the door all the way to the back of the car. She keyed his car! She keyed his Porsche! His dream car. My dream car. My response was She got pissed because you didn't fuck her? Usually they get pissed because you do.

He calls the police and has her arrested. She apparently got out at 8am this morning. He is bragging about Traveler's insurance though. He called today and there was an adjuster at his house in an hour and then then gave him the name of the place to get it fixed and wired them a check immediately. Wow.

Poor Porsche though.

Thursday, May 17, 2007


I signed on to write a post about how my life is the exact same as 1 year ago but the truth is that it is I that am the same. And I think I am ready to change. Improve myself. Evolve.

But first I must do things like stop procrastinating, and stop being easily distracted. Like going back to look at last year's posts from may, only to be distracted and start looking at april also. Then moving a March post from my old blog to this one. It's a doozy, you should check it out.

Anyway although there are plenty of comparisons about how my life is the same now I have chosen not to list them. Instead you will get a dose of ADD. I am not hoping for much.

I am pretty tired right now. Worked for 9 hours. Worked out. Woo Hoo! Then drove back in to the City and had dinner with The Philarican at her place. Ordered out. I had baked chicken and grilled vegtables. Good for me yes? But then I at 1/2 a twice baked potato. And a roll. And was still hungry. Still am hungry.

We watched the Prestige on DVD. It is GOOOOOD! Really pretty impressive on so many levels. None of which I will get into right now.

I need to get out of the house more. Change my paradigm. At least change my clothes.

Running out of steam here. Need to find an idea that will keep me from going to bed.

Nope, nothing.

Gonna look at porn and go to bed.

Thursday, May 10, 2007


I had a good time last night. I was going to post about it but it will take too long post about it now so you will have to wait. For right now I need to get out of my living room and get my ass to the ballgame. Yes ball game. Woo Hoo! To those of you not from Chicago or those of you with the misfortumne of growing up on the wrong side of town there is only one ballgame in Chicago and that happens be at Wrigley field, The Greatest Place on Earth. I know have told a lady or few that my bedroom is the Greatest Place on Earth, but the truth comes out. It is Wrigley Field.
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And speaking of truth. I have been making a half ass attempt at losing weight and getting in shape for my trip to Miami in july. I have been doing slightly better at the working out and running part but I eat like a pig and drink like a fish. But I finally found my motivation other than having a Miami body when I go to MIami.

Approx 3 - 3 1/2 years ago a pretty young thing (The original Red Headed Slut) bought me a Cubs Jersey. Becasue I am a Cubs nut and she loves me. It's a large and hung on me perfect meaning a little loose but not big. Not so much anymore. It doesn't feel tight but there is a way too noticeable bulge around my midsection. Way too noticeable. Jearseys aren't supposed to look like that the are supposed to hang straight down. And what really pisses me off is I think I way just a few pounds more now than then I just have no muscle mass and it is all fat and all in my belly.

So this is it we are hard core. In one month I want to fit into my jersey and by July 26 I want to be down to at least 175. Miami is going to be legendary.

But first off to the Game.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Damn, You should post more

I can''t believe I haven't posted in over 2 weeks. I also can't believe I haven't moved all my shit out of the basement yet. I did throw out all the wet shit though so there was some accomplishment. There have been a couple good stories since my last post. I went out and got super drunk with Brother. Actually he got super drunk, but I don't knew if I am allowed to tell that one. It's a goodun. I went drinking with Matador last Friday and had a good time. We didn't meet anyone new or find anyone to join the world Drinking Tour but I did find out that sexy Italian Bartender (SIB) was no longer with her boyfriend. That could be good news for me. or maybe not. I may be too far into the friend category to ever dig my self out, but it might be worth trying. She is going to come with us to see Hottie next Wednesday at Betta's for Pretty Wednesdays it is $40 for a 15 min massage, a manicure and 3 hours of all you can drink martini's. That part alone is worth $40. Hottie used to work with SIB a few years ago.

I also met a girl on Monday. After work Aborama and I went out for a few Drinks and The Matador and some friends were supposed to meet us out. WE were there about 10 min when Matador comes strolling in wearing a Cowboy hat that isn't his but seems to work quite well. He is LO-ded. Big time. He goes to the bathroom and then the rest of the posse roll in, including Aborama's ex-boyfriend, The Gay Asshole. That isn't predudice, just both of those descriptors are true and because we all know people who fit one or the other using both narrows it down a little. Apparently Aborama was the only one who couldn't figure out he was gay. Except for him, he doesn't admit it either. Also rolling in are Party Girl, Muscles, and the Caveman- yes he really looks like a cave man. A few minutes later Matador is talking to two attractive women because they were silly enough to ask him for a smoke. I can hear Matador struggling to talk slow and enunciate all his words in a poorly veiled attempt not to sound shit faced drunk. Luckily the girls were fairly intoxicated themselves. Especially the blond one who was very cute. I was sober at this point so I know she was cute but looked very young. I just kept thinking "don't be underage, don't be underage" Turns out she is 26, has a four year old son, ouch, and is "getting" divorced, double ouch. I know red flags run like hell. I said what do you mean getting divorced. We are at the end stages. I have heard that before. So I am looking at this realistically but of course got her number anyway. forgive me I am in the middle of a 35 day drought, cut me some slack. I called and left a message today but haven't heard anything yet. The dreaded first phone call.

Any way tonight I am sitting here avoiding getting more shit out of the basement, so I think I will sign off and go get a couple drinks. :)

Have fun kiddies.