Friday, June 10, 2005


That Drunk Girl

She is my best friend, and has happened to have moved to Hawaii. And there’s nothin’ wrong with having a friend in Hawaii. It makes for a lot of cheap vacations. The only problem with her being in Hawaii is that she is in Hawaii. Which happens to be 5,000 miles away. Not as easy to go to an impromptu dinner and drinking fest.

Don’t give me a hard time about the nickname because it was self imposed. She uses it all the time, in sentences like “I couldn’t go talk to him he just thinks that I am that drunk girl” or “after a few drinks I am that drunk girl” “The bartender was nice to me but probably because he felt sorry for that drunk girl” But she is my drunk girl and I think I am going to keep her.

We met 7 years ago while she was a med student at the hospital where I worked. She came out with a group of us from the ER about a week after she had started her rotation and of course we were the last two out. For the next two months we were inseparable and drunk. I was working a part-time morning job at the time and was rarely on time and always hung over, but always willing to do it again. I can’t remember if it was that night or the second time we went out, but we ended up in a strip club because she said none of her male friends would take her. Which I found amazing because strippers love women. If you ever want attention in a strip club, bring a woman. Trust me. I bought her her first lap dance, and to the best of my knowledge her only lap dance.

She is a Californian which I try not to hold her against her. But it’s hard. When she was here she did nothing but bad mouth Chicago. Then she did her internship year in Richmond, Virginia. During which she could not wait to get back to Chicago, which is where she finished her residency.

Now that she is in Hawaii she has nothing good to say about Chicago except she is never coming back. We may convince her to come one summer for a Cubs game. We have her completely addicted to the Cubs. She even watches them in Hawaii when she can find them on TV.

It’s hard to put her or our friendship into words. She is the female version of me. It is rare that I find something funny that she does not and vice versa. There was one time that she was ranting about someone at work who continually tried to finish her sentences for her, at which point I apologized because I was “I, um, sorta do that too” to which she replied “oh, but that’s because we share a brain”. That pretty much sums us up.

She called tonight on her way back from a wine tasting at which she got pretty toasted. Just talking to her makes me smile. She has got to be the funniest person I know. Now that you know of That Dunk Girl you may be hearing of more TDG stories in the future.

My daughter is the only reason I am not currently living in Hawaii. If I could convince my ex-wife to let me take her with I would be gone in a heart beat. But they’ll be selling bibles in hell before that happens.

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