Friday, March 20, 2009

In a nutshell

Woke up in the Matador's recliner this morning because he had somehow convinced me to me him in Joliet. The somehow was that he was with the Caveman and Danger. I haven't see the Caveman in forever and Danger is a hoot to hang out with.

For example, a bit of Danger wisdom:

Build a man a fire and keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.

I met them in a dive bar that had only 5 women in it plus the two that worked there and that quickly dwindled to down to one plus the waitresses. Matador and Caveman had been drinking since 4p and I met them at 9p so they were already on the slippery slope. Matador apparently slipping a little faster than the rest. Danger met them at seven but seemed to have gotten several under his belt by the time I arrived. There is also a possiblity that he had a few in him before he arrived.

At about the time I left Monkey's house, another reason I was willing to drive to the joylet is that I was already halfway there, I received a text from Hot Bartender who was working at Le Passage, which is a club downtown, stating the drink specials and that she can get me on the guest list. AND.....and that there was a group of 200 med students RSVP'd for 10pm. I passed that on to matador who still wouldn't come into the city. It wasn't until I was in said first dive bar of the evening that I realized the true meaning of HotBartender's message. MATCH DAY! MATCH DAY! It was fucking matchday! Match day is the day when all the medical students all around the country find out where they are going to do their residencies. It is a complicated process that culminates in this one day. The day when they find out if they are going to do their residency at the hospital they wanted, or at somewhere shitty, or if they did not match at all and they will have to scramble like mad to find somewhere or have to learn to say "would you like fries with that". All on the same day. Which means that Le Passage was filled with at least 75-100 women who were either really really happy or really really sad, and on their way to becoming really really drunk. Which means easy targets, er, um... I mean good conversation and celebratory sex or consolation sex. Either way I could have been that guy.

But no, I was stuck in a bar with 20 dudes and no scenery. I wonder if Matador's arm hurts today because every time I said Match Day, I punched him in the shoulder. He probably doesn't remember the conversation or the punches. Oops just outed my self.

I did however get to watch the debacle that was the Illinois-Western Kentucky game. Without sound. About two thirds of the way through the game Matador called it a day and went home to sleep. He told us to call him in an hour and he would be up and ready to go again. I know better. I actually think he convinced him self he would be able to get up. I have seen this theory in action more than once and it doesn't work.

The second stop on our dive bar tour and only had two women in it plus the bartender. But this was still a small step up because the bartender, who I know, knows how to pour a real drink. And one of the two other women in the bartender was J a hot bartender that works there. Didn't talk to her because the other 20 neanderthals in the place were in line to talk to her. And well, she really has nothing to say. But is nice to look at. We managed two drinks in that place and then Danger called it a night and Caveman and I moved on to dive bar #3.

It was karaoke night at Dive Bar #3. Oh, joy of joys. But it was apparently ugly people with good voices night so I didn't have the urge to poke my eyes out. And the bartender, who seemed like the kind of guy who always knew how many steps it would take him to get to the shotgun no matter where he was behind the bar, knew how to pour a strong drink. I drink SoCo on the rocks so to me a strong drink is a full glass, and they had decent sized glasses. I few dorks with average but not horrible voices sang a few songs but they were country songs and apparently my mind has developed the ability to tune out country automatically so it was basically a couple of goof balls at the back of the room moving there lips. Again, suprisingly no urge to remove my eyeballs. We lasted two drinks at that place.

Dive bar #4 had some scenery but it was all 21 year old scenery. I think we made it through one drink before we decided to call it a day. We were planning on playing scrabble at Matador's place but when we got there he was on the couch. He woke up when we came in and went to bed. He told us that Abs was sleeping and had to be at work at seven. Which implied that if we were loud while we played scrabble, and we always are, she would kill us in an unpleasant manner.

So I went out to my car to get The Dark Knight DVD, because I have only seen it 3 times and watching a 3 hour movie at 2am seemed like a good idea. Unfortunately or fortunately as the case may be, the sound on the TV would not work with the DVD player. Why I do not know. I have never had a problem before. The only thing that is new is that Aborama's boyfriend, Kentucky, has hooked up his playstation and I don't know if that was causing the problem. I just realized now that I could have played the DVD in the playstation but that thought had not occurred to me at 2am.

So I slept. I woke up at 9 am and woke up the Caveman reminding him he was supposed to be at a wake at 9am. He said he knew and went back to sleep. I was supposed to meet Dr. Magjahooha at BW3 at 11am but instead of taking a shower my tired as crawled up stairs to get some more comfortable sleep in Abs' bed. Sorry Abs.

OK, I thought tis post was gonna be a nutshell because I didn't think I had the energy to type it all out so I was going to make it bullet points. Turns out I was right. I have run out of steam so you will get the condensed version of the rest of my day.

Made it to b-dubs at noon. Magjahooha was not drinking or eating meat. Because even though he now attends a non-denominational christian church he cannot let go of his Catholic up bringing.

His brother who looks like Robin Williams and his cousin and two uncles were there. I had 4 drinks and a shot. One of the uncles is going to be a grandpa. They were there for March Madness but only watched one game and then left. Food was good and the waitress was hot but only 20 years old.

I then drove home in shitty traffic.

Paid my rent.

Saw the downstairs apartment because my landlord wants me to move down there and although they are fixing it up and it will look nice the bedrooms are really small and the bigger bedroom is fucked up because the door is in the middle of the room so my king size bed wont fit. And the 2nd bedroom is so small it won't fit anything bigger than twin bed.

Fuck.

So now I have to move.

Good news is I found a bunch of apt's for under $1000 but the coolest sounding one in the best location had no phone number in the ad so I drove to the address and as far as I can tell it doesn't exist. I will have to try again in the daylight. Hopefully I just wrote the address down wrong.

I took a nap. Prior to that I talked to Hot Latina, who said she might meet me out but didn't. But we have a date for next friday. It is a friend's sweet 16 party. It should be fun.

I actually cooked dinner.

I watched Lost. It was Gooooooooooood!

I got a text from Monkey after midnight. I told her to go to bed. She laughed. Nice.

I wrote this crap. Now I am going to watch a movie even though I have to be up in 8 hours to go to work.